YoBeat: Making Fun of Snowboarding Since 1997
Best Week Ever: March 27, 2009
By Sarah Morrison • Mar 27th, 2009 • Category: Best Week Ever, Features“It’s always so much better when your week isn’t you sitting around smoking weed and watching Tyra.”
-We go downtown to these fashion shows for some sort of LA fashion week. I get a press pass and am issued into a line with other press types. We are set to go into the show first for our prime seating. I whine to Olivia, “I don’t want to sit with Press. Those people are so boring.”
-According to Olivia people stare at me everywhere I go. I am just rarely paying enough attention to notice. I turn to Erika and Olivia one afternoon at the Beverly Center, “Why is everyone staring at me?” I continue, “Is it because I’m wearing the same outfit as yesterday?”
-While at the mall, I remark to Erika and Olivia that I enjoy seeing unattractive pregnant ladies. I add that I especially like seeing unattractive pregnant ladies with hot dudes. Both of them stare blankly at me, waiting for more. I add, “It’s like someone had sex with you! There is hope for me!” Olivia rolls her eyes, “Sarah, someone had sex with you yesterday.”
-We leave Thursday afternoon for our road-trip to SXSW. One of the girls in the car remarks that she likes the hoodie I am wearing. I explain that one time at the Missbehave office, someone had asked me what was on said sweatshirt. I in turn had told them it was penguins. Hayley pauses for a second and then inquires, “Wait, what it actually on it?” I shrug, “Sunglasses.”
-During the car ride, Hayley starts explaining her thoughts on the drug debacle down at the Mexican border. She details some outrageous incident where she witnessed a group of vegans doing a bunch of coke. She remarks that they seemed to care about the lives of animals, but not those of the Mexican children lost to get them their cocaine. I nod my head, “Every time I am about to do a line I pause for a second and say “I’m Sorry Juan. RIP little man!”
-I fall asleep in the car. Upon beginning to fall asleep I had begun a playlist of fun things for the car’s inhabitants to enjoy. Upon waking up Birdy asks, “Who is the guy talking? Is he some kind of preacher?” Still half asleep I tune my ears into what is on and remark, “Sort of, it’s David Sedaris.”
-I am explaining the varied sources of my income to the girls in the car. I go through the list of freelance gigs and whatnot. I begin to explain the music blog I write for. I am interrupted by Birdy, “I thought you don’t listen to music?” I quickly reply, “Oh, it’s just electronic music. It doesn’t count.”
-I run into my infamous ex-boyfriend Mike down in Texas. He inquires about my diet and why exactly I am dieting. I explain, “I gained a ridiculous amount of weight while I was living in New York.” He asked how. I blame it on take-out and weed. I then add, “I think my mindset was sort of like I am a writer now no one can see me!”
-Mike is at SXSW with Adidas. They are showcasing shoes and doing video interviews with musicians and celebrity types. They interview me on Social Networking and New Media type stuff. After the interview is completed, Mike remarks, “You are very well spoken on camera.” I thank him. He then continues, “It’s weird cause when you talk it’s like blah blah blah I am Sarah Morrison.”
-One of the boys working the Adidas thing is wearing those Jeremy Scott for Adidas sneakers that I have been trying to make mine to no avail. I simply turn to him and ask if I can have his shoes. He looks down at his feet, then at me, and remarks, “I don’t think they would fit you.” I get kind of bummed. Mike sort of baffled by the conversation he just witnessed goes, “I like that he didn’t say no.”
-My phone is about to die. I inform Mike that I am trying to locate a charger. I add, “I am tying to find Steve. He has got to be DJing somewhere with a phone charger.” He quickly replies, “He DJs with a phone charger?”
-There is a girl in a cute little 90s super tight mini-dress at the Mad Decent/Iheartcomix festivities Saturday night. I go up to her and tell her how much I like it. She says to me, “All night, people has been telling me I am like Kelly Bundy or Kelly Kapowski!” I think for a moment, “Those are two very different people.”
-We end up hanging out with a drunk band one evening. Some band member annoyingly motions to us girls and yells, “Everyone on Joeys lap for a photo!” Joey slides his chair back waiting for us to jump on said opportunity. Jessica remarks at an equal decibel, “No one on Joey’s lap! How about a photo of Joey by himself!” Joey seems just as excited as the flash goes off.
-I am outside some bar with my Macbook trying to return emails since my Blackberry is dead. Everyone who I presumed was inside at the table where I had left my purse, appear on the sidewalk. But I am quickly reassured someone is still sitting at the table inside. I add, “Ok good. I am more concerned about my Chloe bag than this one with my Macbook in it.”
-Brooke informs me that she is glad I decided to go to SXSW. She says she is excited to read this week’s Best Week Ever. She adds, “It’s always so much better when your week isn’t you sitting around smoking weed and watching Tyra.”
Sarah Morrison famous on the internet.
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lol this WAS a very entertaining episode of best week ever.
I’m not MAD at that. There was no mention of running out of gas and the two speeding tickets…and our favorite Hillarious Clintin. You are amazing in a really special way
your excessive usage of the words “said” (as in “what was on said sweatshirt”) and “upon” (”upon waking”…”upon beginning”…etc…) are making my brain slide out of my ear.
glad you got laid though.
well the thing is when people bitch about it i just do it more. some dude bitched about me using upon twice last time and look how many times i fit it in this round. i can get said in there way more next round buddy.
double dare PHYSICAL CHALLENGE!
Sarah,
This installment is one of your best ever except…
1. Why am I not in it? I gave you some amazing material this week.
2. When are you giving my sweatshirt back?
yeah but then it just gets in the way of the fantastic story
honestly, SarahMo — eye <3 ewe? however, this is not one of your best, champ.
por ejemplo: when you were talking to the minidress girl, you should have SAID to her, “That’s so funny, cos I was just gonna tell you how much you looked like Kelly Osbourne!!”
you used to be funny, but this fucking suxz.
i like how people bitch about your best week ever, yet still read it every week. guess they dont think its that bad after all. i think you’re super funny
Have to agree with Brooke completely.
you rock sarah morrison
Sorry all, I agree with Casey. I guess I keep checking Sarah’s blog hoping her week is more entertaining than mine. Alas, it has NOT been, and that’s saying something. I Love SM, I just find this…for lack of a better word, SO LAME. But don’t despair, I am also finding your former magazine’s site as of late EXTREMELY LAME. So you are slightly better.
Just became a cutter
Boy oh boy, I sure do miss the days when we were allowed to choose the content we consumed. You know, when we didn’t have to read blogs we didn’t enjoy. We weren’t tied down with our eyes pinned open wide, having someone’s thoughts corrupting our own. Sigh. It’s so hard for us poor readers. Oh wait, this isn’t the Clockwork Orange.
I thought this was a particularly good post. I’m just glad that as internet-dwellers, we can be voyeurs into other people’s lives. This means we might have to deal with opinions and lifestyles different from ours. Sure, it’s not always mind-altering, but sometimes it’s funny, and sometimes it’s just something to read. Cheer up, grumpies! It’s not so bad to be us.
you are more fun when your out and about.
pal ajax
cool new band for you to promote:
the new collisions.. i think you might dig them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxZeBs00FYo
word Ninja. the internet is over. i guess i’ll have to go outside now.
olivia, you used to be funny too over at missbehave. now yr not. i keep reading cos i’m hoping against hope that maybe something funny will happen. but no.
good luck casey out there in dat world. peace bro.
This week, I heard a news reader lady say something about, “…the newly unemployed being under-spendably upset at the rate of response to their claim filings…”.
I’ve always praised, blessed, and prayed for every drug dealer I’ve ever dealt with, especially if it was meth.
One time I fell asleep reading the news and said, “…a woman’s in custody for allegedly killing her husband with a marital arts tool…”, the copy actually read ‘martial arts tool’.
For unknown reason Sarah M. was in my dream a few nights ago. She spoke nicely and we went out for fast food. Then I lost her and I couldn’t find my shoes. It ended with me walking down the highway in the mud.
I think Olivia’s correct. The internet does allow us to peer into the lives of others, if we choose, rendering users a bit voyeuristic.
Voyeur - An obsessive observer of sordid or sensational subjects. (dictionary.com)
If you don’t like, don’t look.
Let me tell you, for an ‘olderish’ dude, it sucks to say that I think Sarah M.’s cool, talented, and likable.
But, I’ll say it anyway. I think it was another great week!
i think this has been an interesting look at loving what you do so much you don’t need money/getting paid for loving what you love doing.
take dat wicha
(Play Maino’s “Hi Hater” in the background while reading this because these bitches are suckin your dick!)
=)
you eat at a restraunt, and it gives you mud-butt. Next week you go to the same restraunt and complain, you eat the food and it gives you food poisoning. You go every week hoping the food will stop giving you diarhea, but every week it does and everytime you make a scene and complain to the wait-staff.
STOP GOING TO THE RESTRAUNT you DUMB HO.
….
Just pull the cold hard metal pole out of your ass and start enjoying funny writing.
Yayee I’m funny sometimes… you left out our convos on Tyra and the life size barbie town
Wait now that I’m recalling what about the Nigel site and/or the other… but i’ll keep that discreet as it was too genius to share with the world just yet… I’m sitting in a two bed hotel at the viceroy in Coachella, I wish you were here to laugh with:(