Best Week Ever: April 10, 2009 (Guest Author Edition)

By • Apr 10th, 2009 • Category: Features

Sarah’s friends made her go to Vegas today. Since “planning ahead” isn’t in her job description, I am writing Best Week Ever this week. Sorry.

-Sarah’s brother has taken to leaving random and not very nice comments on all of Sarah’s friends’ social networking profiles. Now I should specify they are not nasty towards the person they are left for, but more towards Sarah. I felt like I should inform her he was doing so, and she apologized, saying he drinks too much. After a little discussion, we used our clinical training to diagnose him with Anonymous Commenter Syndrome, however a rare strain where he actually comments as himself.

-I was having a meeting with Nick about things that annoy me. One of them is overcoming being female in a dude’s industry. Nick assured me that he doesn’t know anyone who hates me because I am a girl. “People hate you for real reasons, Brooke,” he said.

-As usual I am doing yard work around the house. I am looking at the lawn, perplexed how I am going to get the crap that has accumulated off of it. I was thinking perhaps I could sweep, or even vacuum the yard. Then I remembered rakes exist.

-I am explaining to Keith how I have been really lazy all week, and I blame it on being in between seasons. He agrees, and says, “I live my life on college breaks because that’s when the best MTV specials are on.”

-I have a minor crisis one day because Facebook Scrabble seems to think I am not in the US or Canada and will not load. I tweet frantically asking if Portland has been moved to Mexico or something. Cory simply replies, “I think it was the Louisiana Purchase.”

-I opened the dishwasher to find it filled with a few inches of very dirty water. We immediately begin the process of buying a new one, because some things are that important. When I told Lisa about the crisis, she simply replied, you can’t just hand wash dishes?  I replied, “People hand wash dishes?”

-Spring came to Portland last weekend and with it, a much needed excuse to BBQ. My boyfriend is a vegetarian, preventing him from getting much enjoyment out of most of the food that was there. As I raved over the bacon wrapped shrimp, he seemed ambivalent. “It seems there’s always something wrapped in bacon at these things,” he said. I reply, “Duh, everything is better when wrapped in bacon.”

-My neighborhood Arby’s closed this week. I have no idea where I am going to get curly fries any more. This is not funny, nor is it supposed to be.

-In the meeting I mentioned earlier, Nick and I came up with the brilliant idea to do guest editions of Best Week Ever when Sarah’s life is actually interesting and she doesn’t have time to write it. Unfortunately, I am up first and have not been paying attention to my life very well. I ask several people if I have done or said anything funny recently. Jared finally replies, “You are not very funny, Brooke.”

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