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Pop culture seems to have turned into a “vagina shooter” super extravaganza as of late. Everyone knows how celebrities live their lives is exciting, cool, and deserving of emulation. So to follow the trends you need to pop out at least eight kids, have a messy divorce, andÂ experienceÂ at least one filthy and subpar affair. Where does Todd stand? Read to find out.
1) Britney Spears performed this week while her tampon string dangled in front of thousands of little girls. Does this surprise you?
Todd: Well actually yes. Seeing as how much of a beating that uterus has taken over the last five or six years it’s amazing that anything would even stay in that thing.
2) A few months ago Chris Brown beat the shit out pop singer Rihanna. This week nude photos of her hit the web. How should she react?
Todd: Well Rihanna does have really striking features, at least that’s what Chris Brown thought, oh snap! I do think that she could cut bread on that damn jaw line of hers, give JP Walker a run for the money in the chisel department.
3) Jon, from Jon and Kate plus 8, fucked around with a teacher. Is this news? Or do you need to be a dirty-kid-half-stache-teacher-fucker for it to be news?
Todd: Well I think that the natural person for him to hook up with is that Octo mom fucking baby-shooter-vagina chick.
4) Brad and Angelina may be headed for divorce. Would you rather take the money or the babies in the settlement?
Todd: Um, money duh? Who the fuck wants a bunch of kids named Pax, Wax, and Snax.
Yobeat: What about the ones that are his? Part ways for a bigger pay day or keep what you created?
Todd: Well, how do you know he made those?
Yobeat: Great point.
5) Will Ferrell went out into the woods with that Bear guy from Man vs. Wild to drink his own piss and eat deer eyeballs. In your dream world, what would have happened on his trek?
Todd: Hold, I need to shit.
New #5) If you were a person with six kids, what would go through your mind when someone told you you were about to have eight more?
Todd: Hmm, well first off I would have to fucking eat some cow hormone and grow some udders. Then I would have someone make a custom Baby Bjorn to hold like five of them. Then I would get the best plastic vagina surgeon on the planet and try and fix my blown out cookie. Think about the pink drapes on that chick now? Shit, that shit would be gum in the zipper every day.