Man Talk with Party Time Nate
By Nick Lipton • Aug 7th, 2009 • Category: Features, Random
Portland’s own Party Time Nate is a full blown man. Unwilling to be fucked with, and determined to punch every last drop out of life, Party Time was gracious enough to give Yobeat a few minutes of his time. After seducing a waitress, drinking a lethal amount of whiskey, and killing Osama Bin Laden, Party Time decided to give the youth some advice.
Yobeat: How can a boy become a man?
Party Time: For a boy to become a man he needs to find the biggest animal in his backyard and wrestle it. You could also opt out and just slay it. After that your chest hair will sprout out like wild fire. Girls will swoon, then pop, you’re a man.
Yobeat: What’s wrong with the youth these days?
Party Time: Youth these days have gone soft. Not enough digging in the coal mines or building barns. Now they are all frozen yogurt and fixed gears.
Yobeat: Can there be too much party?
Party Time: As one who has the word “party” in my nick name, no. Never can there be too much party. Some of those with the suit and tie office job may think so. Once you get on the party train, it does not slow down. Think early 1900′s steam engine blowing steam and hauling ass.
Yobeat: How does a real man impress the ladies?
Party Time: Straight up. Slay an animal. Skin the sucker and cook a knock out meal. You are showing off your killing, cleaning, and cooking skills. Ladies will flock. Be careful with that one.
Yobeat: Why should men avoid a healthy lifestyle?
Party Time: If you avoid a healthy lifestyle and die young, then you’re going to be helping out with the whole global population crisis. Not to mention have more fun than anyone else that you know. Just think, living party every day can be a good thing.
Bonus Question: How can a youngster avoid becoming a sissy?
Party Time: Step one. Don’t buy a fixed gear bike. All they are are the new rollerblades. Step two. Party like it’s your job. Talking at least five days a week. Step three. Go out and just fucking slay!
its sad to say ive never heard of party time nate…
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party time nate is the cats pajamas
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sorry nick lipton. some boozin loser from portland isn’t important, interesting, or funny. this party time nate guy is just another loser who cant get over fixed gear bikes and has nothing else to talk about. just like you. seriously how hard can it be to find someone who drinks five nights a week in portland oregon.
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Dear nope,
Come to Portland. We would love to have you. Just don’t bring your rollerblades.
Party time
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dear party time nate,
is it true after a long night of euro partying you vomited into the cuff of your sleeve and tried to hide it from everyone? also, what animal did you slay to become a man? i plan on becoming a man soon, so i was looking for suggestions. my mom told me to sly a cobrashark.
sincerely,
tricycles are the new fixies
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Show a little respect, he hit the nail on the head with all of those answers, he obviously isn’t a loser but a true renaissance man! And for all you fixed gear kids out there, you only need to roll up the right side of your skinny jeans, the fucking chain isn’t gonna jump to the other side of you bike and catch your left pant leg too…
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Nate!
A real man makes Mac N Cheese for drunk friends.
love,
Blitters
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I just met party time Nate and I swooned
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