10 Ways to Make Snowboarding Rad AgainBy Gregory Frank • Nov 2nd, 2009 • Category: Features, Latest, Random
Snowboarding is fucking weak. Seriously, in the hierarchy of radness, snowboarders are just above ultimate fighters and just below NASCAR drivers. There was a time when snowboarding knelt before no one (except skateboarding and surfing, obviously. And street luge). Reputable companies like Totinoâ€™s wouldnâ€™t get anywhere near snowboarders. Only Juicy Fruit gum had those kinds of nuts. But really wasnâ€™t it better back then? In an effort to regain some of the edge Iâ€™ve come up with 10 easy ways to get snowboarding back on the badass side of cool.
1.Â Every time you get on a chairlift with a stranger wearing skis, drop the phrase â€œI mean itâ€™s not like sheâ€™s really pregnant. She can have a couple beers.â€
2.Â Launch a grassroots anti-helmet campaign targeting tweens and their totally gay parents.
3. Â Fashion smoking. Fashion drinking. Fashion getting your underage daughter drunk and taking advantage of her on the school ski club outing.
4. Â Handguns
5. Â Commission Sean Cliver to illustrate a childrenâ€™s board line.
6. Â To build on its fear-based branding, CAPiTA releases the Middle America series featuring the Flag Burner 151, Planned Parenthood 155 and Tower Bomber 160.
7. Â Roxy hires Roman Polanski to direct the next team video.
8.Â Take up active littering. Donâ€™t act like you dropped that beer can or that cigarette. Be proud, son.
9. Â Shaun White: Gator II