YoBeat: Making Fun of Snowboarding Since 1997

Todd Richards has been to the Olympics (before it was cool), has helped his wife pop kids out, and has already experienced a snowboard career that none of you could even hope to obtain, so bottom line, dude is old. The real question is, does Todd agree? Well, let’s find out.

1. You’ve had a legendary career, been to the Olympics, and created life, do you ever think, “Jeeze, I’m old.”

Well seeing as how my knees, back, ankles and penis have aged in dog years, the way I figure it, most of my extremities are centurions. Except my face, that’s going Beji Button style. I do act like a 14 year old most of the time, hence the constant penis jokes, so that makes me feel young. Feeling young is not just something Chris Hansen busts you for.

When snowboarding or buying groceries does your body ever feel sore? Have falls and old injuries altered your decision making at all?

Dude, my body sounds like a friggen’ ghost pirate ship creaking when I get out of bed in the morning. The other day I almost blew a hammy tying my shoes. As far as making me not do things, lucky for me I am sore after I make regrettable decisions.

Do you look at the youth with disdain? Do you ever find yourself thinking, “God damn kids.  Get the hell off my lawn!”

No I laugh at the kids and their youth. I say when I was your age, I was getting beat up and stuffed in lockers!

Has old age made you wiser, more articulate? Or do you still feel like a young man?

Oh I have the maturity of a junior high student ask my wife. This whole “being wise and articulate” is just an act. Didn’t you know that I am an actor? Haven’t you seen my films?

Does it bother you to see the youngsters pulling tricks you’d never thought of and can never learn?

You mean like a proper back lip? Fuck yes. God damned kids not knowing any better. The good thing is that most of the kids these days can’t actually “ride” a snowboard. They can go straight twirly-q in the air and land in a switch nose press but have a hard time using side cut. That’s where I can still hang. I guess the point is, I don’t really care. I have my moves that I like to do, I have them on lock and I just mess around for me these days. I have always been a fan of quality not quantity. Get a few boss moves, do them all the time and make them look good. Like Ben Hinkley and the lawn dart. God that thing was sick.

BONUS. Can you still pop wood?

I still get class room boners are you kidding me?