If your passion for carving corduroy outweighs your craving for carving turkey, you’ll find the following Thanksgiving Menu right up your alley.  This list is a cornucopia of real snowboard grabs named after food you’ll just want to gobble up.  (Actually visualize, or act some of these out, as a few of them are mind-boggling.)

Caution: many of these grabs (which need to be brought back, btw) come from an era where flexibility reigned supreme.  A few weeks of “snoga” (snow yoga) should be considered a prerequisite.

Difficulty Levels Ranked 1 to 5
(1 = vacationing Texan, 5 = Tim Eddy after a hot yoga class)

APPETIZERS

Canadian Bacon ala Kale Stephens. P. Max Jenke/Methodmag.

Canadian Bacon (3)
Back hand reaches around the back leg to grab the toe edge between the bindings (poke out the back leg).

Swiss Cheese (4)
Back hand reaches between the legs and grabs the heel edge in front of the front foot (poke out the back leg).

Melon (1)
Front hand grabs the heel edge between the bindings (poke out the front leg).

SIDES

Pat Bridges, avid Eggplant lover. P. Geery

Eggplant (4+)
Front hand is planted on the lip of a pipe/QP wall and rotate a backside 180 (so you come back in regular).

Mashed Potato (5+)
Alley-oop, backside pipe wall, front hand grabs mute and the back hand grabs the heel edge in front of the front foot from behind the back!  Good f%#@ing luck.

Spaghetti (5)
Front hand reaches behind the front leg then between the legs, to grab the toe edge in front of the front foot (poke out the back leg). Good f%#@ing luck.

MAIN COURSE

Grabbin stalefish for dinner. p. Chris Garrison

Stalefish (1)
Back hand grabs the heel edge behind the between the bindings (poke out the rear leg).

Fresh Fish (1+)
Stale Fish on the backside wall of the pipe.

Chicken Salad (2)
Back hand reaches between the legs and grabs the heel edge between the bindings, wrist rotated so the thumb is pointing towards the tail (poke out the front leg).

Roast Beef (1)
Back hand reaches between the legs and grabs the heel edge between the bindings (poke out the rear leg).

DESSERT

Pop Tart (2)
Air from fakie to forward in the pipe.  No rotation.

So take a break from snacking on pretzels and bagels on the rails this Thanksgiving and grab your self a heaping helping of food flavored grabs. And please! Somebody go out and invent a Turkey Roll today.  The fact that chicken salad is the only poultry dish represented in the snowboard food grab bag is a disgrace to this amazing holiday.