YoBeat: Making Fun of Snowboarding Since 1997

Danny Davis. Photo courtesy Boardistan.

This article is a perfect example of the feast of d-grade crap that is served up to the Internet everyday.   Millions (if not billions) of people around the World Wide Web, force-feed the Internet with photos, videos and text, under the loose license of journalism leading to our epidemic state of cyber-obesity.

Welp, with no further ado, here’s my latest digital spoon feed, to help make the Internet an even bigger fatter, more bloated mess than it already is:  The Top 5 famous people who Danny Davis looks like these days and the striking similarities between their personas.

1. Barry Gibbs

Lead singer of the Bee Gees, Barry has his double platinums, Danny’s got his double corks, and they both have kick ass heads of hair.  While Barry spends his time prancing around singing like a woman, Danny spends his time prancing around riding like a man.

2. Davey Crocket

Davy Crocket was the “King of the Wild Frontier”, whereas Danny is the “King of the Frontier of Pipe Riding”.  The visual similarities are striking, except Danny looks like he has a coonskin cap on his face and Davey looks like he has a beard on his head.

3. Grizzly Adams

OK, maybe Danny looks nothing like Grizzly Adams, but as Lee Travino said in Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore, “Grizzly Adams did have a beard”, and well, so does Danny.

4. Rip Van Winkle

Both of these guys like to go get lost in the woods and have a laid back, easygoing style.  Sure there’s the obvious similarities with the big beard… but also consider the word “Rip” in Van Winkle’s name.  Danny has been known to “rip” himself.  Scary coincidence huh?

5. Jesus

Sure anyone with long hair and a beard often gets the Jesus label, but upon further look, the similarities between Danny and Jesus are uncanny: Danny can walk on water (albeit frozen water), he can fly (if but momentarily while snowboarding), and Danny was also once a baby.

OK, so regardless of how pointless this article is, I’d like to use my 30+ years of debatable wisdom to briefly point something out.  Danny Davis is one of the best hopes we have for maintaining snowboarding’s integrity as we get groomed-out by mainstream media and marketing.  His style, creativity and attitude hearken back to the mid 90’s hay day of our burgeoning sport, and we couldn’t pick a better face to represent men’s competitive snowboarding (with or without the giant beard.)

After note: During the long process of researching and writing this piece (of crap), I bought the following URL: www.peoplewholooklikejesus.com.  Wish me luck that it makes me rich somehow.