Mandatory Coverage: Olympic Men’s SnowboardCross
By Nick Lipton • Feb 15th, 2010 • Category: Features, Latest, Random
Olympic action has begun! Skiers have been crushing moguls, ice skaters have been flying around in circles and in the ratings booster, snowboarding, the pipe is collapsing slowly and medal events have officially begun! Men’s Snowboardcross, or as they like to call it “the only race for freestyle snowboarders,” is a wrap, but I must say I was left sorely disappointed.
First, Shaun Palmer isn’t in the Olympics, and that’s total shit. Palmer would have given ‘boarder racin’ a hint of credibility by either punching out the guy that beat him or showing up drunk enough to make that skier Bode Miller look like a school girl. Second, Nate Holland is racing, and that’s bad. Why is that bad? Because Holland isn’t a snowboarder, he’s a skier headed sideways. After all, this is the guy that recently blew up over pant size (two years too late) and somehow has it in his head that snowboarding’s now dead “emo look” and skiers in spandex are in cahoots.
In a New York Times article by Matt Higgins entitled Freestylers Are Uptight About Keeping Clothes Loose, Nate has a highlight reel of unreal quotes. To call yourself a freestyle racer, like Nate does, the X Games and FIS have decided you better have eight centimeters of extra cloth surrounding your leg. Tight pants have gone so far as to have, “…pitted elements of old school versus new school; Alpine versus freestyle; and function versus fashion.” Nate Holland is concerned the image of the race community is “at stake.” Holland also mentioned that he’s not down with the tight junk, and would rather sport the stuff consumers pick up, to you know, keep that core image. Does Nate not realize he’s a racer? The “discipline” that actually involves wind resistance, two positive binding angles and all sorts of other speed racer type junk? Last time I checked kids wanted to look like Shaun White, not Nate Holland.
Reading the article I believed at first Holland was moaning and groaning about the unfair nature of ski suits in his beloved downhill hootenanny, but a stunning quote left my jaw hanging low, “I think the problem we have now is the emo look,” followed by, “and people trying to use that as an excuse for wearing tight clothing.” Really guy? The emo look died with NeoProto Productions. The new look is that biker guy hipster thing, and while tight clothes are a staple of said look, Comune and Krew are known for denim, not spandex. I don’t believe there are any boardercross athletes who identify themselves as badass “tight pant” guys. Holland’s objection to European racers hopping the Atlantic and beating your ass in spandex is one thing, but to liken them to a certain trend in the overall snowboard scene is ludicrous.
Holland’s assertion in the New York Times that he has, “…seen that skiing mentality creeping into snowboardcross…” is the nail that will shut this coffin. Holland is a racer who speeds down a mountainside for a living while complaining about unfair wind resistance and the like. So apparently he hasn’t the slightest idea that he is the “skiing mentality.”
Regardless of my thoughts on Nate’s opinions one question remains, did he at least do America right and take home a medal? Nope.
After qualifiers, he sat in 4th place up in warm and sunny BC — obviously an unacceptable location to sit in, after all, we are American and 2nd place is just the first loser. He was even bested by his own teammate, Graham Watanabe. Maybe some tight pants would have cut off those few tenths of a second, eh Nate?
In the brackets though, Nate showed the skiing spirit, advancing side by side with Wescott, like good Americans should, right into the finals. Watching their blue-jean-clad-selves, national pride took over, that is until Nate ate shit! That’s right, all that hot air, and Nate didn’t even get a medal. With his 4th place finish, we can go back to not caring about him for four more years. Congrats Seth, now go ride some powder.
Nick Lipton doesn't own flip flops.
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Wow Nick, intense observations…. too bad burton didn’t make any one-piece fagbags for the boys in blue.
Hollands a sack of shit…all that talk and nothing to show for it. I literally burst out laughing when he went down in the final. Suck my dick Nate!!!
Seriously good shit Nick, Holland is a homo. Seriously, he is. The guy lived a few apartments down from my cousin in Tahoe, and he invites us over one day and starts showing off his X-Games gold medals to us. I couldn’t help but think actions like that are better kept for 16 year old girls, not 22 year old guys. Seriously gay…
I like how you picked photos of Nate where he is displaying his infamous “blow-jaw” … pretty sweet.
F-@&^ YEAH! So happy for Seth!!! One of the nicest and most humble guys around. I love watching the media interview him and try to get him to say stupid sh!t but he always keeps his cool. Now like Nick said, go get that pow!
HAHAHAHAH!! YES!!!! nate holland is a bitch!!! ive seen him get his ass kicked in tahoe more times than i can count by my homies and by girls!!! and hes a super huge racist!! he makes snowboarding look so bad….. fuckn sack of shit can suck my balls!!!!
This nate holland cat sounds like a winner…. what a DB.
He looks like he’s got a touch of the Downs in all of those pictures
Stoked for Seth (much better than seeing anything go Hollands way), but I wish Watanabe was in there… seriously two good dudes that are much better faces (and personalities) for the (well… about extinct) sport of boardercross…
wow what a bunch haterrz. you guys should be happy that riders like nate are outspoken enough to give the worthless bloggers something to talk about. i wish more riders were more outspoken.
the new look is newsies
nate holland is the most worthless piece of shit to ever happen to snowboarding. hey guess what asshole…you race boardercross. a thing that even Burton deemed “too gay” for the us open. the worst
maybe if dumb ass inbread cracker got with it he could of remembered 2010 as a good year now its more like the year of “I should shut my fucking cock hole”. way to be the third loser couldnt even get first at losing fucking chump btw this kid still runs around like he grew up skating in the early nineties with the bottoms cut off his size 44’s but he didnt the kid pushes mongo on a skate maybe its just some sweet [lol] idaho inbread gear. btw the kid aint no shredder hes a FUCKING JOCK oh yes and “silver” is correct allways getting his ass kicked in true “jock with as big mouth fashion”. GET BEAT HOLLAND! oops you already did
Death to ginger boardercross racers!