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A Simple Guide to Finding Fame, Getting Cool & More

Trends come and go. The “cool guy” of the winter changes almost annually. The hard-partying wild man we loved in last years video is now the washed-up, where-is-he-now, scruffy dude at AA. So how do you stay cool and famous forever? How do you become a darling of the underground. Easy — do cool stuff that other people are too lazy to do.  The following folks have found the fountain of fame, so just do what cool people do and bite their shit until it works out for you.

Minutes before a riot broke out and DJ Matty Mo leap even closer to infamy.

Become a DJ:

Sure he’s a talented snowboarder and great guy to be around, but until Matty Mo became synonymous with dance party, his life was on the fingers-crossed path. After a big break from Cory “Wiener Man” Grove, Mr. Mo’s DJ nights became the ass-shaking designer drug of Government Camp. His next moves, making more asses shake, have kept him afloat for years now. With famed events under his belt like the Bonfire Pipe to Pipe and last year’s infamously out of control VideoGrass Premiere, it looks like being a DJ is a sure-fired way to get free shit, not quit snowboarding and still be cooler than 95% of the other guys.

Become a Famous Artist:

It worked for Ed Templeton, Corey Smith and a bunch of other guys, so why not you? Just look at Mr. Smith now. Living the dream in sunny So Cal. Hanging out with hot babes. Tattooing people with whatever he pleases. Riding powder when he wants and making art that not only sells, but has landed him a job at COMUNE to do what? More art. Obviously this is a great sign for you. So pick up a paintbrush and learn how to use it for access to hot babes, cool jobs and a lifetime supply of spotlight.

Fashion Designer:

Can we cut the shit for a second? Can we just agree that Ashbury and Oakley didn’t revolutionize the sunglass game? That Volcom, Analog and whatever new plaid shirt maker didn’t re-invent the needle and thread? Because that’s not what a fashion designer does. I’m talking about making shit that exists cooler, cheaper or somehow addictive enough to become cool. Look at Ashbury. They said, “We’re cool and you can be too.” And you did, a whole hell of a lot of you did. At the same time Oakley said, “Here, pay upwards of 120 bucks for some shades that cost like a buck.” And good god did you ever. But, we’re not idiots, we’re consumers and they did a bang-up job at selling us on an idea. So grab a sewing machine, a bunch of cheap fabric and a laptop. Sew, cut and make a cool logo. After you go broke handing out free shit to friends, you might be 1/100th of the way to making it out of the red, but in the mean time, all the dudes will think you’re cool.

Famous girl? Check. Weird gear? Check. Makes stuff like cash and music? Check.

Dress Weird and Make Stuff:

Every snowboarder dresses weird. There is honestly no on-hill outfit that could be considered normal by any stretch of the imagination. And don’t kid yourself, we all look stupid off-hill as well. But, you can make this work. Just look at Trevor “Trouble” Andrew. He wears multiple eras of weirdness at once, makes music that old people call racket and may or may not be making skateboards eerily similar to corpsecorpsboards.com. But it works. It landed him a famous girlfriend, a life of partying and prospering in Brooklyn and contract extensions left and right. So go tear up your sisters closet, the local thrift shop and start making some fucking racket.

 

 

Every word in this post-even those based on real people-are entirely fictional. The quotes might be bullshit too.
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Comments (12)

  1. what about going the rebekah black route and just being all around shitty at life

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  2. These are always the best articles….. Cuz they’re so true.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  3. Where do I vote?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  4. Chicks ahoy

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  5. Proof read next time.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  6. Bong rips and nip slips

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0
  7. I am going to marry Sarah Morrison.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  8. i think ill just stick to the current route im on. it seems to be working out pretty well

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  9. Oakley actually did revolutionize sunglasses years ago…Lipton’s still an idiot

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2
  10. Matty Mo is still way overrated…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3
  11. corey smith is not cool

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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