Rejected EditsBy Jeremiah Paquette • May 27th, 2012 • Category: Features, Latest, Rejected Edits
We have a real mix of garbage in this edition of Rejected Edits. There’s poor filming and editing, sloppy riding, questionable audio tunes, and just plain boring snowboarding. For the last year I’ve had to do this sober. This is the last one, so enjoy the niceties while they last, because next month, the gloves come off.
Double days at Granite Gorge: C-
You guys should take a long hard look at what you’ve just done. In what realm of snowboarding are zeaches, swivels and tailfishes cool? “But it’s for fun” you say. False, there’s nothing fun about being the laughing stock of your hill.
Patches O’Hulahan: D
Yeah this is definitely good/interesting enough to be featured. My bad, I don’t know how I got it into the rejected edits group.
Sorry for the wait (part 2): B-
Remember when we rejected part 1? Well I had hoped this would convince them to scrap the project and go away. You’re probably all going to give me shit for this one but I don’t care how sick and tech you think the snowboarding is, I can only watch so much fast forwarded, shaky, and ramped rail slides.
Larpotron 3000: C
I was with you on this one until :21 seconds in. How are people still doing that shit and thinking it’s ok?
Bust Teaser: D-
I think you guys are 12 years old and this is the first edit you’ve ever made so I will cut you a break. Don’t submit anything again until you’re 135% sure it doesn’t suck or I’m just going to tear it apart.
Kevin Gillespie is Here: D
I blame Connor Brown for this travesty. You had to go and make good edits with just a bit too much ramping now every little shit head is trying to get on your tip. Sometimes I think you made edits that way just as an inside joke to see how many others you could get to follow you. If so, congrats.
Closing day Chaos: D-
I can hear you now down in the parking lot throwing back Natty Lights, telling everyone how sick and fun it was on your mini board “jibbin” around the mountain. Well if you enjoyed it then good, but I can tell you it looks stupid and no one wants to watch an edit like this except your equally idiotic bros who recommended you use this killer track.
Brundage Closing Day: C
Usually I’m not happy to see any resort close, but this one is different. With the closing of Brundage for the season I can be assured that I will not have to watch another edit from you guys for at least 5 more months. 2:17, boardslide to switch on a flat box? Did that shot really need to be in the edit?
In general, the Midwest comes out with some good snowboarding. But when you open with a fierce bs zeach your edit doesn’t stand a chance. And then you swiveled. Cut that shit out.
Timberline Laps: D
:52, you thought it was quick enough that no one would notice your bs tindy out. I’m all for “just having fun” edits. But the riding has to actually be good. You guys look like a Junior high weekend warrior troop.
I think you should hit up the guys who made the Patches O’Hulahan edit. You guys would probably make a great team.
This edit demonstrates a theory I’ve had for awhile now — the smaller the feature is, the probability of sloppy riding and zeaches will increase. Here we have a nice 6-foot tube and about 90% of the moves are horrid. You look like you’re jumping around a jungle gym.
Swiss Valley Slush: F
And Lastly the JNEPNATION…. I generally make it a practice to ignore these guys simply because they’re annoying and a disgrace to snowboarding. But today I was feeling generous. You should have you ability to purchase snowboarding gear revoked for this travesty of an edit. “intentional zeaches and proper wrist angles”. Intentional because those are the only moves you can actually do. So here you have it, you’re back on Yobeat. Enjoy it because it might not happen again for awhile.