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In a sport battered and beaten by winter’s darkest hour: Olympic piss tests, kook ski companies, Forum imploding, the tight pant craze, global warming, caffeinated death drinks and Shaun White, it’s important to step away from the seriousness of snowboarding and turn our attention Northward, to the mystical island of Iceland and one Eiki Helgason. His humble demeanor backed by his endless technical, creative and stylish snowboard approach has lauded him cover after cover, banger after banger, and the righteous support of the entire international snowboard community. The dynamic duo of Eiki and his younger, nastier brother, Halldor, dropped the movie “Pepping” on the world snowboard community last week. Pumped, horny and more stoked than ever, here is Eiki Helgason in his own words.
Snowboarding – What was losing your snowboard virginity like? Give us the dirt. Take us back to that blessed day. Where did you go?
It was pretty smooth, actually. I bought one of those “Stiga trick” boards (a small plastic board with bungees as bindings). I rode that for a year and learned a lot of tricks in my backyard.
You’ve often talked about what is sorely lacking from the Iceland snowboard scene – a lack of parks and a lack of snow. How did you guys persevere and get so good?
We have a pretty good resort just 10 minutes from our hometown, so we rode almost every day, but the resort didn’t have any park, so we started to ride rails in the city. We have a pretty sick set up behind the ice rink, that’s where we learn almost all of our tricks before we try them on a street rail.
Monaco! What do you guys do there besides post photos of you sunning it up in banana hammocks and rocking some side cock action? What role does living in Monaco play in your snowboard career?
Monaco is so chill. It’s so nice when we wanna get a break from snowboarding after being on the road, and go to a sunny place instead of going back to Iceland where it’s freezing cold. It’s nice to reload the batteries and it’s way cheaper for us to fly in and out of Monaco than it is flying from Iceland all the time. The fact that Monaco is a tax free country doesn’t hurt, either (laughing).
Kenny Powers, a.k.a. the baddest motherfucker alive and star of the television show “Eastbound & Down” said he only has one sexual rule – no threesome’s with blood relatives. Where do you and Halldor draw the line? You guys have made a magnificent snowboard film called “Sexual Snowboarding”, you guys were back to back rookie’s of the year (‘09 & ‘10), you guys take turns grinding on rails. Do you occasionally grind the same girl?
(Laughing) No, that hasn’t happened. I have actually had a girlfriend now for more than 3 years and Halldor has a girlfriend now as well. So, we have it on lock for the moment.
In 2011, you broke your back. First day riding again, you broke your collarbone. How do you get back on the board and do it all over again? What do you do with all your downtime? Just slay chicks and drink bubbly in Monaco? Do you give a fuck about injuries, are you scared of injuries, or do you just see past them?
I don’t really care about injuries. They always heal with time, but it does suck not being able to ride. So now it’s super chill to get injured. We just go to Monaco and relax on the beach and live life (laughing).
The follow up to last year’s smash hit, Sexual Snowboarding is called Pepping. What is pepping? It appears two slutty looking girls are holding something blacked out on the pepping cover. Dildo? Bong? What the fuck is pepping? What’s in those girls hands?
(Laughing) I hadn’t even thought about it but that the thing she is holding looks like a dildo. It’s just an exclamation mark after the word “Pepping”. Even better when I think about it being a dildo. Pepping is a swenglish (Mix of Swedish and English words) that we started using and it kinda means being pumped, horny and stoked at the same time.
Speaking of Pepping – you put out a call for people to send in their bangers for potential inclusion in the video. Does it have to be snowboarding or could it be literally bangers? Two chicks, 1 cup type stuff, or Kim Kardashian style porn edits. Would these be included in the video or would shit like this be frowned upon?
It can be whatever they can think of, but of course the snowboarding bangers always get more chance of making it into the movie. If people wanna send us sex tapes, that’s all good.
How do you get sexual with your snowboarding?
You always “Go down on a snowboard.” That sentence has two meanings, right? Both are awesome.
What’s the most sexual you’ve gotten with your snowboard?
I have been in a relationship with my snowboard for 12 years now, so there is a lot shit that we have done together, like raping rails and jumps.
I told Nicolas Mueller last year that I would like to use my penis more in snowboarding. He agreed. You guys seem to live this mantra. How can the rest of us live that mantra?
It’s simple – just always follow your penis.
The perfect Eiki Helgason snowboard day. What goes down? Take us along for the ride.
The Perfect Eiki Helgason day is when I am out filming with our crew (Me, Halldor, Gulli, Thunder and Petter) and I get a shot of me crashing hard but without hurting myself and then I get the trick afterwards.
Who does the lobster graphics? Or more importantly, who does the special edition lobster graphics? Tits, shit, piss, total vulgarity – a parent’s worst nightmare. How the fuck do you guys come up with this shit? Where do you draw the line?
It’s me and Halldor that come up with the ideas for the designs for all the boards and then we have an artist, Michiel Walrave, that draws it up for us. I design the special jib board and Halldor does the special park board, and so far we are just feeling out where the line is and people seem to be hyped on them. I guess we can still push it a bit more (laughing).
The Helgasons are insane multi taskers. Your brands are being received well worldwide. What advice do you have for young kids on snowboarding and business?
If you love and believe in what you are doing then there is nothing that can stop you.
You guys are well documented partiers and love a good lady. What advice do you have for the young grom trying getting his pickle wet?
That’s a tough one! But I guess the old fashion way is always the best – get drunk and hope for the best (laughing).
Your brother, Halldor, says Icelandic girls are “easier and more nasty” than their American counterparts. Do you see it as such? Do we wish they all could be Icelandic girls?
The good thing about Iceland is that there are more girls than guys, so the girls have to fight over the men, so they won’t be left out in the cold. That makes it pretty sweet for us Icelandic men (laughing).
Black snowboard Jesus descends from the heavens and lets you have the competition to end all competitions with absolutely no limits, along with your five favorite musical acts, take us into Eiki’s mind. Tell us when, where and whom this would go down?
I would have a rail contest on a warm beach somewhere and make snow that doesn’t melt. Riders can ride as much as they want over a whole day while being served drinks by girls in bikinis. Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival and the good old Guns & Roses would play music all day. There would be no winner in the end, but instead the prize money would be split with every rider in the contest. After it we have a huge after party with free drinks and girls for everyone. Sounds delicious.
What’s the deal with all these magical elves who live in Iceland? Are the elves for real? Do the “huldufolk”, as they are called, (the hidden little people), do they exist? Or, it is just a bunch of bullshit?
People do believe in this crap but I think its just people’s minds going crazy in the long dark Icelandic winters. I believe in things when I see them, so who knows maybe one day I meet one of these “Midgets” living in the rocks.
Do you have a drunk alter ego? Your brother goes by Harold when plastered.
No, I don’t actually. Or yeah, maybe my alter ego is just so tired all the time so when I change I just puke and fall asleep on the bar (laughing). So, my alter ego is not that fun.
Photo: Kalle Hagglund
Halldor said “drinking milk” was the best advice you ever gave your little bro. In return, what’s the best advice your little brother ever gave you? He encouraged me to go to youjizz.com at least once a day.
Youjizz.com is good! Works every time all the time. The best thing he taught me is the chiller. When you are tired and have to take a shit, then you sit the opposite way on the toilet, so you can rest on the water tank. So smooth.
If you were in charge of snowboarding, what would you do to make it cooler?
I feel like snowboarding is getting a bit too serious nowadays. First thing I would change is making all the snowboard coaches be more like Coach Thunder. Then I would pull snowboarding completely out of the Olympics and destroy the FIS gayness. Just look how skateboarding is doing it, they are on the right path. Not snowboarding. Sucks, but it’s the truth.
In closing, do you have some Icelandic words of wisdom to share with the dearly beloved Yobeat crowd?
MaÃ°ur hÃ¦ttir ekki aÃ° leika sÃ©r af Ã¾vÃ aÃ° maÃ°ur verÃ°ur gamall… MaÃ°ur verÃ°ur gamall Ã¾egar maÃ°ur hÃ¦ttir aÃ° leika sÃ©r.
English: You don’t stop playing because you are getting too old, you get old when you stop playing.