Pro Dudes 2013 New Year’s ResolutionsBy Nick Lipton • Jan 4th, 2013 • Category: Features, Latest, Random
The year 2013, some said it would never happened, and they are stupid. Moving forward, changing the calendar and pretending to lose weight are now on the horizon. So what resolutions are being made in the snowboard world? The results will probably not surprise you. Some will try to improve while others will continue to fuck off, around and in anything they can. Here’s a smattering of answers from some of Yobeat’s favorite personalities.
Famed photographer and bike enthusiast Tim Zimmerman said, “My only resolution is to listen to way more Pink Floyd. Might as well take advantage of the new weed law in Washington, right?” making the Yobeat staff wonder what it’s like to be high in a helicopter.
Forum dude Cam Pierce said, “I didn’t really make one. But, if I had to pick right now it would probably be to stop worrying aboutÂ stupid little things.” Does he mean little things like 10-stair rails which Forum traditionally has no time for, or like the fact that his main sponsors just went out of business?
All around good-time-guy Niko Coffi said, “For GBP/Gremlinz to take ovaâ€™. I wanna be rich anâ€™ laugh at all the other petty industry people anâ€™ go to Bora Bora witâ€™ my baybegirl.” Check urban dictionary for a quick translation.
Recently engaged Nick Visconti said, “Keep Jesus IN Snowboarding.” Which is either more of his super I love Jeebus nonsense, or a witty remark regarding our once great “Keep God out of Snowboarding” shirts.
The filthy, yet lovable Billy Mackey said, “Get fat as shit, have a pet bear, move into the woods and never talk to anyone again.” and while we think that is rad, we don’t want to see him go just yet.
Intern of the Year and now Poler bad boy Alex Burton said, “Disconnect from friends that donâ€™t matter, sell my shitty track bike, save money, get better at what I do, call grandma and get some teeth pulled.” Maybe Alex and Grandma can bond over false teeth?
DWD Pro Ben Bogart said, “I think I might save my New Yearâ€™s Resolution for 2014 and piss off for another year.” and we couldn’t be prouder of the guy.
Finally, Durell Williams said, “Hook up with as many white girls as humanly possible.” which is such an odd thing for a handsome black snowboarder to say, right?
Do you have a resolution worth mentioning, or is it simply, “Gosh I hope I lose this tire of human flesh from my gunt this year.” If so, post ‘em below. The best one might get a free sticker pack, if we remember…
Email this author | All posts by Nick Lipton