Soulcation: Montucky

By • Jan 11th, 2013 • Category: Features, Gallery, Latest, Videos

Saturday – Race day.

Brooke promised she would add a filter to this so we didn’t look so pale. Damnit Portland.

7:00 am. Wake up and feast on the continental breakfast. You could bribe the local Police with the tickets to this culinary collection. They had a gigantic heated sliver bowl of maple syrup for fuck’s sake.

9:00 am. We check out the race track, which now resembles a GS course with banks. They fixed the turn into the brick wall but instead added five even sketcher turns.

This is the only photo evidence that RC ran the course. Not convinced. Anyone can stand in front of the starting line.

10:00 am. -12:00 pm. Children and women go first. It is metaphoric of the movie Titanic. Women and children navigate the course safely while the men are left with a death-crazed iceberg.

12:00pm. The sun has left the course. Starter Phil Weiss warns everybody about uncovered rocks near the “really steep turn” as they drop. I don’t let it phase me, but in reality I totally do.

12:30 pm. A herd of goats gather on the ridge above the course. I hope to be empowered by them but instead I do abysmally. RC gets one run and goes faster than anyone on Yobeat staff. Timbro and I demand to see video evidence that RC ran the course. We are yet to see it.

4:00 pm. “I fell both runs but  I would have smoked RC if I had forward lean,” says Brooke. I think she is serious.

Don’t worry, that twelve year old is not passed out drunk, he’s doing pushups for free stuff.

5:30 pm. Awards Ceremony. The guy selling raffle tickets lies to me when he says he sold me the winning ticket. We watch a movie called  Of Life and Love, which was created to fulfill Aaron Robinson’s vision. Shane throws free stuff at people’s faces, and questions why anyone would care about the Yobeat cup. He’s right. No one cared.

11:00 pm. Shane’s band, Riot Act, rocks out at Scissor Bills. Timbro claims he has the most established beard at the bar. After much research I conclude he is right and give him a victory hug. He’ll deny this happened, but it is real.

“fuck Yobeat.”

12:00 am. I ask the Bartender for more Kokanee to which he replies “Four Kokanee’s? You got it!” People in Montana sure are friendly. Kokanee is a kind of Canadian beer by the way, I got excited too.

???? am. I freestyle with the band. The dance floor erupts. Debauchery ensues.

Will our hangovers spoil the fun? You’ll have to read on…

Will our hangovers spoil the fun? You’ll have to read on…

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13 thoughts on “Soulcation: Montucky

  1. PileS

    and to think the pope didnt bring back a bufallo hide or nothing for his minions stuck in the western rains

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