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High Fives with Todd Richards: 2013 & Beyond

HF_FC

It’s been a while, but Todd Richards has finally stopped announcing contests, hosting fake shows and tweeting long enough to sit down with his best friend in the whole wide world and reboot (if only this once) the classic, and amazing, High Fives with Todd Richards. So, with so much going on in 2013, these questions got asked and your life is now better for having clicked this link. Google this shit for more of the old, but good stuff. 

You’re the only real adult in snowboarding. Could you explain the fiscal cliff to all the youngsters?

Todd: Well, the fiscal cliff has like this gnarly rock run in, with a fully bomb-holed landing, but you pretty much fucked yourself and have to jump it because you followed some fucking dumb ass pro down here to ask him for his goggles. It’s pretty much like that except with everyones finances.

The Xgames are coming up. How will Shaun White top his perfect score from last year?

I imagine that Target paid for an extra 10 points to be added on. So, add this one goes to 11 analogy here.

Who’s penis would you rather be: Shaun White, Ryan Sheckler or Kelly Clark? 

(Once Todd stops laughing.) I would way rather be Sheckler’s Penis. Judging a book by its cover, I imagine it would smell like expensive cologne.

Do you think anything interesting will happen in snowboarding this year? 

My only hope is for another banger “a Man” voiceover of the Super Natural event. That was pretty much the highlight of last season for me. That and Chad Ottersrom quietly learning the triple cork one day this season in the Breckenridge park  without the use of an air bag and not punching the sky like he has the power of Greyskull when he does.

Ok last question, The New York Times just published an article explaining how snowboarding is no cooler than skiing now and our world has lost its bad boy edge. Care to comment? 

Well shit man, just draw a huge cock on the top sheet of your board and start a bunch of fights on the hill….viola we are bad boys again…and maybe pull some fire alarms.

There you have it folks. Todd is still funny, the economy is fucked, chicks got dicks and the New York Times thinks you are a bunch of babies. 

Every word in this post-even those based on real people-are entirely fictional. The quotes might be bullshit too.
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Comments (10)

  1. Sheckler’s penis does smell like cologne, I know from experience.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 56 Thumb down 0
  2. I like Shawn white’s new gum, mintacular, it’s really good for when I wanna go big in the pipe and wanna do slope style and wear female snowpants like these http://www.burton.com/womens-sugartown-snowboard-pant/276510,default,pd.html?start=9&cgid=womens-pants

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1
  3. People think guitars are the most bad boy instrument, but it is totally the viola. Nobody fucks with the middle voice of the violin family.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 38 Thumb down 2
  4. I remember the good ole days when parents shielded their kids when we walked by. What happened you pussies!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
  5. Chad Otterstrom is the truth!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 0
  6. yeah, an otterstrom triple cork might actually be worth watching.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 0
  7. HAHA, Kelly Clarks penis. HAHAHAHA

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  8. well, its settled. I’m gonna go draw a huge cock on my topsheet.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0
  9. dick boards, launching 2014-15, im on it

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
  10. I wonder what Todds penis smells like, Sal Masekales Mouth maybe

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 0

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