Under Review: 32 Simon Chamberlain TM2′sBy Gregory Frank • Mar 1st, 2013 • Category: Features, Latest, Reviews
I know what youâ€™re thinking, boots are a very personal thing. How are you going to have someone review boots and tell me whatâ€™s good for my feet?
But this review isnâ€™t about telling you how incredibly comfortable I found the TM2s. Itâ€™s not about them being the best lace-up boots I have used in the past 5 years. Itâ€™s about making a boot that works for you.
Normally, you get to choose your boots. But when itâ€™s a boot review, you take what you get. Sure, ThirtyTwo could have sent me the black or white colorways. Or even the DGK or Scott Steven pro-models, those would have been a better reflection of my personality. But I got the Simon Chamberlainâ€™s. I assumed it was some sort of divine intervention.
I know a couple things about Simon Chamberlin. He rides snowboards rather well and he is a huge fan of Jesus. Seriously, have you seen his Stepchild deck for next year? Jesus to the MAXXX. That divinity scene doesnâ€™t fly where I come from, so I was weary. But, I put the boots on, and holy crap they were comfortable. This must be what angel boots feel like. Do angels even wear boots? Maybe they only put them on when they come to Earth to tell people to start a war, or to become a priest and fondle children or something.
I spent probably 15 days in these boots. Plenty of time for them to break in, but they didnâ€™t really need it. They are good to go right out of the box. The boots do have a larger profile than my previous ones. It wasnâ€™t an issue for me at 10.5, I just had to let the binding straps out a bit. I can only see this being an issue if youâ€™re running a really large size. And, initially there was one annoying spot on the inside ankle of my front foot, but that went away quickly without requiring me to do anything. Again, I assumed this was Simon and Jesus blessing me with boots crafted by the same hands as those that handed tablets to Moses atop Mt Sinaiâ€”the very same hands that created the Earth, merely 6,000 years ago. And I assume those hands are small, Chinese and probably overworked.
After a few weeks of god-swaddled riding, I was forced to ask myself if this was really my riding that had been beatified, or was this riding only possible when I turn my feet over to the Christian god? I decided it was time to cleanse these boots. Infuse them with a new god. To take these boots on the left-hand path.
The boots were vandalized, lit aflame, pumped full of the complete catalogs of Wolves in the Throne Room and Blut aus Nort, bled upon, stuffed with the pages of Nathaniel Hawthorneâ€™s Young Goodman Brown (ripped from my Norton Anthology of American Literature, thanks Professor Hanson and English 388), left alone with human teeth and hung in a cemetery for three nights during the waning moon. All in an effort to expel the Jesus from them.
Then I took them back out for more riding. How did they hold up? They still worked. Warmth? Still there. Trick-ability? Still pretty average overall, but thatâ€™s on me. Comfortable? Still plush. Badassery? Plus 10.
Whether or not you feel the boots look better now, I assure you they have held up. They are still comfortable and still supportive, just the way they should be, though the laces did melt and need to be replaced. Iâ€™m not sure what 32 is changing up for next year, but Iâ€™m certain the TM2 will remain a great boot. Itâ€™s way better than most Iâ€™ve tried. Check it out for yourself and see if the TM2 fits, both your foot and your godless lifestyle.
In the end I will give these boots four out of five upside down crosses, with the overall profile of the boot being my only complaint.