Rejected Edits: Excuses Excuses EditionBy Oliver Dixon • May 4th, 2013 • Category: Features, Latest, Rejected Edits, Videos
This batch of edits really touched home for me. I’ve lived in quite a few places in my life and this round of rejects has one from almost every spot. Also, I saw some milli-tube zeaches and pondered possible excuses for doing so, as I myself, am also a repeat offender. Another edit featured an ambitious, young, go getter exploring the mean streets of dub town which I some how related to auto-fellatio. I can’t seem to find a satisfying excuse for having done that either. I guess that’s my problem though. Anyways, I hope you enjoy my stupid rambling as I go seek salvation for having violated the sacred g-code!
What a damn fine song choice! At least for the first song For the record, that was all you really needed. That was damn funky and I salute that decision. However the riding as missing a certain level of funk and confidence that the song definitely demands. You know what helps me boost my funky ass hot boy confidence? Four Loko. Maybe that could help! Not if you’re not allowed to or whatever though. Don’t let me get any angry letters on this one. Also here is some vital advice to ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FILM WITH A GOPRO. It is essential that you GET AS CLOSE AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN TO THE PERSON YOU ARE FILMING WITHOUT CUTTING OFF THEIR HEAD OR FEET. Also, as an added bonus that wasn’t really applicable for this edit, TRY YOUR BEST TO NOT FILM TOWARDS THE SUN. Gopros really just lose their shit when the sun is in the background and I know its hard to line up a shot like that, especially if you’re doing a follow cam but I’m just trying to lay out my basic rules of gopro filming for you guys. Which brings me back to my first rule, If you’re scared to gt close with a gopro you should probably go to church and film some fucking baptisms or something. That thing has a bomb-proof case and a fisheye lens, so there really is no reason not to get all cozy and close with whoever you are filming. Remember, IT’S NOT GAY IF YOU YELL â€œSLAYERâ€, which should also probably be included in the basic gopro ground rules, as you can tell by the use of all caps.
Okay! Okay! For future reference though, a 50-50 front 3 out is much like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s acceptable as nutrition under gnarly circumstances, but if you eat a shit load of them it can get real old real quick. So try to have as few of these types of things in your edits as possible. Also, I would say you’re not fooling anyone with that last shot of you taking a one-way flight to dub town with the landing cut short, but if you look at the comments you have clearly managed to sell some snake oil on that one.
These next few edits are pretty damn sweet and I think anyone that actually reads this can learn quite a bit from watching and reading these. I like this one a lot because it was simply a bunch of homies who were having genuinely awesome sessions. You can tell that they were all hiking and working on some harder, more interesting stuff and when the tie came for them to film, they took the time to unstrap and get close-up, solid angles with their beautifully standard-def camera. The main criticism that I have is that some of the tricks were a bit too loose and probably could have been redone for extra awesome points. The song seemed like kind of a bland choice as well, but I don’t see that being an issue in the future! Let’s see more!
ROAMING AT HAWK
This has to be the most proper rejected edit that I’ve seen so far. It kind of doesn’t feel right having it be in here but I can see how it would be a bit of an on the fence decision. Spencer Whiteman is a perfect example of someone who actually learns from having his edits rejected. Pretty much everything that I have suggested has been included in this edit. The only thing that I’m bummed on about this edit is that I know the park at hawk island has been more interesting in the past and that this was filmed on the â€œHow the fuck are we still open?â€ version of their park. I don’t think I’ve seen any Hawk Island edits on Yobeat yet and I think it’s such a cool place and such a great idea that it’s debut should probably be from a period where things are in full swing. You should also try to collaborate a few more drip squad homies, if possible, and perhaps try to free up an extra day or two of filming to ensure maximum hamburguesa. I’m sure whatever is done next here will be posted! Although, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a certified loko-ass edit drop from here within the following weeks.. Shout out to Tyler May who must have been working his ass off all winter, as well as Jack Harris. #putjackon. P.S. Dom keeps that jenkem on deck.
Yes, yes, fuck yes. I love this. I love the song and I love the feel of this. However, it’s missing something and I’m not quite sure what it is.. it’s hard to say but I think this may be the one exception to my frantic call for edits to be shorter. It’s pretty damn short and at a little over a minute and thirty seconds, it’s hard to go wrong. I think this edit could have used an extra day or two of filming to get a couple extra hammer shots… A lil’ bit of extra heat to keep them haters out da’ kitchen, or at least get ‘em sweatin’.
LE RELAIS 2013
Not too bad fellas! I think one of you guys ay have come down with a case of dad cam fever. The only remedy for that is a friendly intervention. Dad cam-ing is an addiction but it must also be seen and treated with the utmost respect. You can’t just say, hey fucker, quit sucking at filming, because having a friend that is down to film is much like a holographic charizard card. You have to hold on to that shit.. cherish it.. nurture it. Whichever of these friends is posting up on the knuckles of jumps with your gopro is doing a service and a disservice at the same time. I saw a mean (possibly even switch) rodeo 9 go down in this edit. That’s a rare sight nowadays! I think it could have been ender material, definitely over the 270 that was used, except the rodeo wasn’t filmed all too well. Getting a close up follow cam on that, or getting a little closer to the rider would have made that trick look the way I felt about it. You know when you go to the zoo and it just happens to be the day that your favorite animal there is out and playing around being all cute n shit? That’s how I feel about back rodeo 9′s. I just want to get as close to it as I can without scaring it. Oh, and cutting out some of the soggier shots/tricks I this edit would have made the elapsed time short enough to be a bit more appealing, at least, in my opinion.
I think this one was pointed in the right direction but similar to pretty much anytime I try to play basketball, it was a bit of an airball. There’s no shame in that though! It’s just that I saw a number of attempted grabs in this edit that, on craigslist, would be filed under â€œmissed connectionsâ€. There isn’t really a good excuse for that! I would recommend taking yoga classes. Consider the benefits! That ought to get you more flexible, resulting in better grabs. Even if you suck at yoga and it doesn’t help you re-up on that tweak game, at least you will be around flexible babes in yoga shorts. That alone is a pretty good way to deal with any kind of missed connection and I think most would agree. Shout out to yoga pants, shawty I see you.
Ooof.. A Brighton edit. That’s some hard territory my friend. Doing a proper Brighton edit is damn challenging nowadays. That place is a fucking shark tank, teeming with some of the hungriest and talented riders our great nation has to offer. Most Brighton edits that I’ve seen this year have moved me nearly to tears and just generally make me feel like I’m a sad, sad excuse of a snowboarder. Which I am, but usually I just try to ignore that fact, and the Brighton locs serve up double scoops of DA TRUF on a waffle cone made of G CODE. I saw some zeaches go down on milli-tubes in this edit. I try to make excuses for that nearly every time I ride Brighton and it’s damn near impossible. So until we think of a good one, or just decide it’s time to stop zeaching, our Brighton edits probably belong right here.
SUNDAY IN THE WILDERNESS WITH PRESTON & BRAXTON
Where the heck did all your snowboarding footy go? This was mostly lifestyles my man! Although I am pretty thankful that this was left short and sweet at 2 minutes in total time but I think only about 30 seconds of it was actual snowboarding and it was on a rather uninteresting feature. Well, riding wise, it was a bit un-interesting, but I am intrigued as to how you came up on some poor adjuster’s insurance ad. I like to think they denied some claim of yours and you showed up and made a big stink about it and still got denied. As consolation you managed to either haggle the sign off of them as a trade for you leaving the grounds peacefully or, hopefully, you bare-handedly she-hulked it out of the ground with your new found emo kid berserker strength.
Have you ever finished jerking off then immediately found yourself in a shame-filled, awkward state of being? There isn’t really a word to describe that emotion but I would put it as a sort of â€œdone fapping porn is gross nowâ€ state of being. What? You don’t know what I’m talking about? Oh, uh.. yeah, I was just kidding dude! Relax! However, if you can imagine that I wasn’t kidding, that’s sort of how this edit made me feel. Confused and self violated. I don’t think I can say that about any other edits, so perhaps some form of congratulations is in order!
MAMMOTH SOUTH PARK
You’re at Mammoth and you lost your friend molly? Damn! That’s a pretty big place and I’ve found that once you’re split up from your friends it is nearly impossible to catch up with them! No worries though, I used to live there and I feel I may be of some assistance. Did you try checking the main lodge bathrooms? You might be able to find your friend MOLLY there. I heard she was last seen with my homie 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1 BJ. Which is probably one of the most interesting nicknames I’ve ever heard in my life.
SPORTER CARINTHIA PARKS SPRING 2013
As soon as I saw this dude I knew in my heart’s anus that this wasn’t going to be over without a double-something tailfish. Doubles are a pretty gnarly think to step to but I feel like the true not-give-a-fuckness of a double is measured by it’s grab. I feel like if Clint Eastwood wasn’t slowly slipping into an old age induced state of insanity and if he were also healthy enough to snowboard he would go double and probably grab japan or sad or something. I’ve only gone down to dub town a few times in my life and every time that I have tried it I went with the â€œholy shit I’m going to die so I might as well give sucking my own dick one last shotâ€ variation of a knee grab. Oh, I nearly forgot.. your ender was pretty damn ignorant. Like, a westboro baptist church level of ignorant. You showed a blatant disregard for your own self preservation and I respect that.