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Stan’s Solutions: What is a Kink?

ED: As you may know, Stan likes the weed. And one of the side effects of weed is spending too much time thinking about silly things, and ultimately coming up with ideas that make no sense to a sober person. So please take that into consideration while reading his latest revelation. That is all.

Am I good at hitting rails? Absolutley-fucking-not. The truth of this often burns, but I take solice in at least knowing when people say stupid shit in reference to them. Allow me to clarify once and for all, how to decide how many kinks a rail has. To make this really easy for you guys, lets look at some examples.

Example 1: This is Ethan Diess Shredding at Trollhaugen this past winter. How many kinks does the rail have?

Screen Shot 2013-07-18 at 1.41.55 PM

If you said 4, I’d say you are a fucking wrong. Flat-down does not count. I am basing this statement off the following scenario: Picture yourself rolling up to a flat-down rail with a filmer. You would not say to him, “Yo lets film this kink rail.” Why? because in your heart you know that would be a pussy thing to say. Now if you rolled up on a down flat, I think you would be much more likely to call it a Kink rail, it just seems more appropriate. But after a single kink, the lines start to blur. Is a Flat-down-flat-down a double or a Triple kink?

Diessattrollkink

Example 2: This is a rail that has been featured in all of the Windells edits this summer, there seems to be some debate about this rail as well:

doublekinkwithcomments

@Kink, we will let this one slide because you commented before this post. @Justin’s Bong, you can’t be tainting my name with this shit, man. Six kinks? For real? Did you go to school, or?  To be fair, Bong of mine (which I don’t use. Spliff lyfe, baby) This is what a six-kink looks like.

Screen Shot 2013-07-18 at 2.23.35 PM

Cyril Captures Jamie Nicholls on a true six-kink.

Digging Deeper: The Donkey Dick Donkey dick’s don’t count as kinks, they are their own entity and should be discussed separately. Certainly, I am not doing this to be mean, but no one is going to take you seriously if you let bullshit like this fall out yo’ lips, nameen? I’m just looking out for you guys. You can thank me however you feel necessary.

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Comments (62)

  1. truth. but im high so…..
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 7
  2. what about a dubble-kink
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  3. All truth.

    Good catch on the Donkey Dick exception that isn’t an exception, too.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1
  4. What is a fucking wrong?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2
  5. Fuck em’
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 0
  6. Guys please stop taking pot. My friend’s cousin was going to be a professional snowboarder but then he overdosed on pot and died tragically from a heart attack. It can kill you, it has before and will again. Even if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you lazy and unmotivated. Studies show that 46% of those who do pot regularly are below the poverty line. Remember to #420NO – keep your lungs clear, the air clean, and your brain above the influence as you enjoy the mountains. Thanks YoBeat – you rule.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 47 Thumb down 54
  7. So flat-down-flat-down’s are still lame?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1
  8. once someone hops on the trollhaugen kink rail for a regular 50-50, you hear their board hit the rail 4 times (not including the ollie on). so therefore, they are hitting 4 separate abnormalities in the rail that causes them to come off of the previous section for a split second and sends them into the next angle. but now all of you incompetent fucks are going to disagree with me and start an argument.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 43 Thumb down 13
  9. Finally someone says this right!
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3
  10. KINK
    1: a short tight twist or curl caused by a doubling or winding of something upon itself
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 3
  11. So Stan may be stoney, but we know he isn’t getting laid by an S&M freak because the boy doesn’t know kink.

    A kink rail takes you in a new direction at each kink. Not just up or down, but at a new angle too. Watching this earlier YoBeat joint (pun Stan… get it?) you can see at :40 that the kink’s not only take the rider vertically different, but a new horizontal direction as well.

    http://www.yobeat.com/2013/02/15/bet-you-cant-trollhaugen

    So book a flight to Vegas Stan, put on your big boy pants, get a professional girl, and learn what kink is before that ganja makes you as impotent as you are wrong…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 2
  12. No. Long before any park had 4 kink rails people were still referring to down flat downs as double kinks. Feel free to call a 4 kink a double kink rail, but just know you are an idiot and people will be confused. Theres no confusion when you tell someone you hit a quad kink rail.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 41 Thumb down 11
  13. A dfd will and has always been referred to simply as a kink rail.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 27
  14. i actually think we should negate the first kink and only count the second kink…
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 3
  15. Everyone who rides at troll calls it the quad so it is most definitely not a double kink. #tck
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 4
  16. Everyone who rides at troll calls it the quad so it is most definitely not a double kink.
    #tck
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 3
  17. so according to this, you are referring to a flat down flat, a down flat down, and a down flat all as the same thing. which is stupid.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 3
  18. Your allfuckig idiots just use D for down parts of the rail and F for flat parts. DFD-down flat down. Ya clown. I poop brown.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 14
  19. My $.02 – I think it’s stupid to call anything a “kink” rail is stupid… “double kink?” Okay that’s starting to be acceptable, once you get into high numbers it’s a little absurd to be saying “Yo, I hit that down-flat-down-flat-down-flat-down rail” – but if you’re too lazy to say “down-flat-down” or any other variations with only three changes I have no hope for you.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  20. pardon my redundancy with the word “stupid” there – I’m hung over
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  21. can somebody kick #420NO ^^^ in the mouth?!
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 5
  22. I think you did a great job explaining your point and it makes sense.

    However, how could you overlook the legends who first hit these rails? They named tricks and they named the rails because they did them first. If you were old like me, you would remember these dudes and that they called down flat downs: double kinks. This occured in full length snow vids, before youtube and vimeo. Are you proposing that we change this? That is fine (I may even take your side), but you should make it known that you are trying to change what we call these rails, not act like your opinion is current fact, because it is not. If JP, Jeremy, Mikey and the boys agree with you, then it’s fact. Until then, get their side of the story. It would make for an interesting article.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 29 Thumb down 4
  23. where did you leave me stan?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  24. I overdosed on pot, and ate myself to death:(
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 0
  25. unfortunately for JP walker over here… nobody gives a shit what old snowboarders are calling this because, much like any other rail activity in snowboarding, we stole the nomenclature from skateboarders… maybe we should be asking PRod if we want a vintage opinion
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 14
  26. WRONG! Think about building a rail, not even for snowboarding, just in general. Everytime the rail bends and/or changes angles with a weld it is a kink. A flat-down (gay or not) is a kink – if you need your friends to think you’re badass and don’t call it a kink than fine, it doesn’t mean it’s not, just means you’re too embarrassed to admit it. A down-flat-down is a double kink, the rail bends twice – it has two welds – therefor two kinks – any other explanation is snowboarders once again trying to complicate things to seem cooler.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 2
  27. if a rail has 2 kinks after the initial down, it is a double, if it is 3 then it is a triple and so on, thnaks everyone
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1
  28. 2 flat sections*
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
  29. Perfect yobeat article.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
  30. People have argued this since the dawn of time and always will. Get off of the internet, stop counting, just strap up and hit the damn things.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
  31. Alright I admit it. I blew it in the 6 kink thing. But at least I can 3 a side roller Justin #burn
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3
  32. fuck off stan
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  33. My goat is going to be so upset when he finds out that his dick isn’t kinky enough for Justin Leveille :(
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1
  34. I have always ben told to only count the down flats as kinks, but I have herd it both ways so i never new what the correct way is. it kind of gets annoying after ten years of riding, i mean the small rails are easy ( d-f-d ) or ( d-f-d-f-d ) (d= down f= flat) but wen it comes to big stuff it gets annoying. fore example in my home town their is a rail that is about 200ft long and it has 10 kinks or 20 kinks depending on your stance on the issue and i have always wanted to just spend a day seeing how far i can go on it. but i don’t know how to describe it to my friends
    witch kind of bugs me. i think both are right, but i think we all need to come to a conclusion on what to call it so i can properly talk about my rail in a way that everyone will understand.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  35. on second thought who gives a shit lets just FUCKING SNOWBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1
  36. Alright I admit it I blew it on the 6 kink think. But at least I can 3 a roller Justin #burn
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2
  37. @ JP WALKER

    You aren’t even JP walker all that you just said is 100% false

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 5
  38. whoever wrote this article is useless.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2
  39. I never call a down – flat rail a kink! A kink is a Down – Flat – Down or DFD. The Windells/Troll rail is a DFDFD. The rail that Jamie Nicholls is a DFD-F-DFD-F-DFDFD. I prefer my system hahaha
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  40. Well put Big Cat
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
  41. what if it’s a really gnarly flat-down?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2
  42. a kink is something that changes the direction of the rail, down or flat.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
  43. where is the poll?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  44. pow>kink
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  45. stan you cant even hit a single kink, if those still exist according to you….
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
  46. Quad Kink: It changes directions 4 times
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1
  47. LOL you guys are fucking gay to take the time to make a post about this. Let the kids call it whatever they call it. Just snowboard and quit tryna make rules.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2
  48. On point! 👌👌👌
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  49. who cares!!! A kink is a change in direction of a rail, but the fact that you made a whole article about it is stupid. Especially when stating your opinion and saying other peoples differing opinion is wrong. I love yobeat but this article was wack.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  50. why cant kids from Minnesota learn how to count kinks.. why why why. all your parents are ashamed of you.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  51. get the fuck off the internet and go outside!
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  52. i once had 3 marijuanas and lost all my shit.

    never again.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
  53. A kink happens when a rail is going down and then goes flat but what if a down flat down had an elbow does that also count as a kinks because there is a change in direction?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  54. so what is a donky dick
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  55. A down flat down is called a kink rail. Why? show me one kid who can do a down flat bar, but not a down flat down.( I dont actually care if you know someone, but I know what to expect) that transition from down to flat is the only challenging part of a down flat down, the rest just matters whether or not you rode through the “first kink” smooth enough to slide off of the flat and onto the down. everyone who already googled what a kink is can prove there are 2 kinks in a down flat down, that doesn’t mean it has to be called a double kink, that sounds greedy as shit. What ever happened to no rules in snowboarding? That’s my opinion and non uf yaz can change it. oh and Smoke Pot
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  56. i found the solution to all this!!!! man up… ride pow son.
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  57. everybody calm the fuck down. this same debate happened 15 years ago when rollerbladers were hitting 25 kink rails and making your 3 kink rail look wuss.

    Stan has it right. You judge it by how many flat sections there are. a “kink” is a full down-flat-down. this goes across every “sport” that slides fucking rails.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  58. @ASK JP WALKER:

    He didn’t name that shit, nor was he the first. fruitbooters were calling rails “double kinks” and whatever sort of kink combination before ol’ Dogface ever threw on a bubble vest and nosepressed his way to fame.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  59. so your saying a battleship rail has no kinks in it at all? so what are they then? bends?
    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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