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Stan’s Solutions: What is a Kink?

ED: As you may know, Stan likes the weed. And one of the side effects of weed is spending too much time thinking about silly things, and ultimately coming up with ideas that make no sense to a sober person. So please take that into consideration while reading his latest revelation. That is all.

Am I good at hitting rails? Absolutley-fucking-not. The truth of this often burns, but I take solice in at least knowing when people say stupid shit in reference to them. Allow me to clarify once and for all, how to decide how many kinks a rail has. To make this really easy for you guys, lets look at some examples.

Example 1: This is Ethan Diess Shredding at Trollhaugen this past winter. How many kinks does the rail have?

Screen Shot 2013-07-18 at 1.41.55 PM

If you said 4, I’d say you are a fucking wrong. Flat-down does not count. I am basing this statement off the following scenario: Picture yourself rolling up to a flat-down rail with a filmer. You would not say to him, “Yo lets film this kink rail.” Why? because in your heart you know that would be a pussy thing to say. Now if you rolled up on a down flat, I think you would be much more likely to call it a Kink rail, it just seems more appropriate. But after a single kink, the lines start to blur. Is a Flat-down-flat-down a double or a Triple kink?


Example 2: This is a rail that has been featured in all of the Windells edits this summer, there seems to be some debate about this rail as well:


@Kink, we will let this one slide because you commented before this post. @Justin’s Bong, you can’t be tainting my name with this shit, man. Six kinks? For real? Did you go to school, or?  To be fair, Bong of mine (which I don’t use. Spliff lyfe, baby) This is what a six-kink looks like.

Screen Shot 2013-07-18 at 2.23.35 PM

Cyril Captures Jamie Nicholls on a true six-kink.

Digging Deeper: The Donkey Dick Donkey dick’s don’t count as kinks, they are their own entity and should be discussed separately. Certainly, I am not doing this to be mean, but no one is going to take you seriously if you let bullshit like this fall out yo’ lips, nameen? I’m just looking out for you guys. You can thank me however you feel necessary.

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Comments (62)

  1. why cant kids from Minnesota learn how to count kinks.. why why why. all your parents are ashamed of you.

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  2. get the fuck off the internet and go outside!

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  3. i once had 3 marijuanas and lost all my shit.

    never again.

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  4. A kink happens when a rail is going down and then goes flat but what if a down flat down had an elbow does that also count as a kinks because there is a change in direction?

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  5. so what is a donky dick

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  6. A down flat down is called a kink rail. Why? show me one kid who can do a down flat bar, but not a down flat down.( I dont actually care if you know someone, but I know what to expect) that transition from down to flat is the only challenging part of a down flat down, the rest just matters whether or not you rode through the “first kink” smooth enough to slide off of the flat and onto the down. everyone who already googled what a kink is can prove there are 2 kinks in a down flat down, that doesn’t mean it has to be called a double kink, that sounds greedy as shit. What ever happened to no rules in snowboarding? That’s my opinion and non uf yaz can change it. oh and Smoke Pot

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  7. i found the solution to all this!!!! man up… ride pow son.

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  8. everybody calm the fuck down. this same debate happened 15 years ago when rollerbladers were hitting 25 kink rails and making your 3 kink rail look wuss.

    Stan has it right. You judge it by how many flat sections there are. a “kink” is a full down-flat-down. this goes across every “sport” that slides fucking rails.

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    He didn’t name that shit, nor was he the first. fruitbooters were calling rails “double kinks” and whatever sort of kink combination before ol’ Dogface ever threw on a bubble vest and nosepressed his way to fame.

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  10. so your saying a battleship rail has no kinks in it at all? so what are they then? bends?

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