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Rejected Edits: Holiday Cheer Edition

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Ahh, a new season and a new batch of pre-season tube edits. What could be better? Perhaps a wizzing riot of space dicks, thrusting in infinite directions? Yep, that sounds way more entertaining than tube edits. Now, sit there and prepare yourself for my barrage of degrading talk. Thanks.

The UNDEF (mini teaser):

Grade: D

I’m not sure what the point of this was.. but the music was pretty on-point. Although I heard a song the other day that might be a bit more appropriate for an edit such as this. I think it was called pumped up with the kicks. Have you heard of it? It’s pretty new! My friend’s older brother showed me it so maybe you haven’t heard of it yet, he’s a pretty cool guy, I saw him smoke a cigarette once.

Julo Petrik

Grade: C+

In mother Russia, rail zeach you!

This reminds me of something that happened to me this morning. I woke up, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and before I could finish it, I had to take a furious diarrhea. By the time I got back from taking a desperate dook, I discovered that my cereal had been in the milk for too long. It was too soggy to eat. Just like this edit.

Not all hope is lost though! I liked your spot selection. Those ledges were pretty neat.
P.S. shout-out to the dick drawn in the snow. I see you.


Dirty South Productions #5 — Patrick Rauter Season Recap 2012/13

Grade: B-

This edit makes me think you got lost in a McDonald’s playplace back in 2003 and decided to make an edit the second you wiggled your way out of the ball pit. (which always seem to smell like poop for some reason) You kind of have JP walker hands too! Stop repeating tricks and use better music next time!

Berries Jam Teaser

Grade: F

What did I just watch? I think that just made me gay. Hold on a sec.. Yep, I watched it again and it un-gayed me. Apparently this edit also functions as a sort of sexual orientation swapping death ray. Beware of it’s mighty power.

Hood2013

Grade: B-

There were a few cool maneuvers in this edit, maneuvers that didn’t suck. However, I currently feel a bit groggy because this edit is also a functioning sleep-aid. Seriously, the music is really relaxing and the pretty shots of mt. Hood could quell the fiercest of beasts. Make it shorter.. Much shorter. The we will talk.

Keystone Shred Times

Grade: D

I seriously don’t understand why people like Colorado so much. It’s like when you get a box of popsicles with a bunch of different flavors in it and the flavor that you like least is Colorado. Sure, I bet if you didn’t have any popsicles and someone offered you a Colorado flavored popsicle you’d be pretty hyped on it due to the fact that you don’t have any other choices, but you should know that Utah and California flavored popsicles are way fucking better. What’s that? Oh yeah, I’m supposed to talk about the edit. I didn’t like it. Sorry boys.

KFC job application

Grade: C

I like where your heart was at on this one. Boobs, booze, and boardin’? You know I’m down! Unfortunately it was a tube edit which disqualifies you from being featured on the site because that shit sucks. Stay gutter my friends.

Mystic Magic 12-13

Grade: C

What an unfortunate little terrain park. I’m sorry you guys have so little to work with. I don’t know what to tell you man. I guess.. get more creative? Yeah, getting weird on small stuff makes for an entertaining edit! I want to see something surprising. Something that is refreshing, and inspiring. I want something that makes me want to get out and ride, you feel me?

Jersey Girls Pre Season Quickie

Grade: B

And here, dear reader, we have a good ol’ fashioned “babes eating shit” edit. To anyone who has seen Lauren’s instagram, you know that she has quite an awesome physique. It’s as if it were chisled from freckly pepper jack cheese by Jesus Christ himself. It’s about time that she put those greasy buns on ice and I gotta say Jordan and I are loving it. I want to see that 270 go down. Why’d you go and give up on that? Believe in yourself child. You girls aren’t shitty. Keep working on it, yo.

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Comments (36)

  1. The second video is like the fucking Technine crew of Mother Fucking Russia

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 22 Thumb down 3
  2. Such a surprise another ducking mt hood edit. Got damn

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1
  3. biiggggg prayyyyerrr. This ones for chang.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  4. Alex and Pat! couple of bosses right there.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2
  5. yep you’re right! had to watch Berries Jam Teaser twice to cancel out the gayness

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  6. lauren has to lay off the make up. she looks like a spider. don’t get me wrong though id still bag her

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1
  7. Russian Phil Collins is a fatass bitch. Maybe his wackass shit wouldn’t get put into the rejected namsayins if he got rid of that gut. Chesseburger piling mafucka

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1
  8. Not enough gay stunts. I don’t think anyone even took their shirt off

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 2
  9. lauren longfield sucked brett stewarts dick while his girlfriend is in jail

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 35 Thumb down 0
  10. lauren longfield sucked my dick. then i came it ur eye sockets

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
  11. lauren is the biggest prohoe in the land. gina your ok

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1
  12. Hahahahaha naaa no way i wouldnt let her get near my frank and beans. But was told she wanted to.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2
  13. What you said about Colorado, i feel that feel.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
  14. oliver dixon would

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1
  15. Brett Stewart, why is your girlfriend in jail?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
  16. Brett Stewarts girlfriend banged every guy in high school, her year and up

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  17. sorry…i didnt make this video. not my song choice. or editing choice..or video. -pumped up the kicks boy aka undef mini teaser. i got on yobeat though so thats cool

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 5
  18. DSP… Sick riding, weird song choice, and FUCKOFF with the slowmo it looks gaaayyyy

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
    • Boy, what the FUCK do you think you’re doing parading around as me again? Get the fuck back home before I decide to let Hitler stick them pineapples up your ass like he’s been wanting to do for the last forty years. Filming sucks, editing sucks, apparently Lauren sucks…a lot of dick. She obviously gets all the vitamin D she needs. Look at that hair.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  19. Colorado has the worst snowboard scene. All i see are bright ass lollypops and never-danker bros falling down the mountian.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1
  20. Sup with all the hate? Ha I bet those babes shred harder than the haters… But I saw a lot of hammers and a lot of filler 50/50 I’d say… That down fat tube with the donkey in the KFC video was so legit

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 5
  21. where is snofags?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
  22. Where is snofags

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2
  23. brett stewarts girfriend went to jail for doing coke at a party while on probation/parole. Her name is kasey walter. Yes she did fuck every guy in deleware valley high school. She was braggin about all the coke she blew at some party, and word got back to her parole/probation officer. She got drug tested and failed, therefore was sent back to the slammer. She is also a snow whore. Dated bryan kreicher, zac, kyle, and tried to fuck and date kade madsen and matt bothfield(bistros bistro) and she fucked me.
    Kasey walter is a whore!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
  24. kasey walter creeps on kade madsens profile

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
  25. hahahahaha i banged kasey walter too. a bunch of my boys did too.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  26. From the looks of these comments I need to spend some more time in NJ. Girls are just throwing it around down there.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 0
  27. Sega genisis jackets rullllle yo

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2
  28. My dick is so erected from these comments. Sizzor my timbers.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
  29. I believe another comments read dramaticaly is needed.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
  30. ^ ^^ The only funny thing Jerm has ever said

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

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