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Ask Robin Van Gyn: Week 1

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Hello lonely boys and hard up girls. Your friend Robin Van Gyn is here to answer all your pressing questions about life. Got a quandary for Robin and her Magic 8 ball? Just post it in the comments and maybe you’ll be lucky enough that Robin will choose you. For now, see if any of the following advice applies.

From: Assblaster
How do I avoid the friends zone?

Dearest Assblaster,
Seems as though you might need to accept that you might never go anywhere else. My sympathies.

From: Jeff holce
What’s the best way to get out of the friend zone?

Jeff,
Well for starters, I think it would be smart to avoid titles like “Assblaster” when commenting online, maybe just all the time, something to think about anyway. Other than that, I think these gents made this great rap that could give you some insight on this problem:

From: Red Gerard

How come you never called me back?

Oh my god, seriously Red? I had no idea. Did you leave a message? I feel like a jerk, you know I would have phoned you back if you left a message. Hit me up, we’ll do some laps. You’re the man:



From: thatgoodlife

I’ve got a crush on Marie France Roy like every guy who snowboards…any tips on how to catch her eye?

Dear Life,

Who doesn’t? the girl is amazing. I am not sure if you know this, but Marie is French Canadian, she likes Canadian stuff. My advice to you to shower her with gifts! Most Canadian women go crazy for the following items:
1. Beaver Pelts
2. Large poutine, extra curds.
3. The Best of Celine Dion
4. A Double Double
5. Strange Brew on HD DVD
Follow this up with a card that says nothing but “Sorry”.

From: rube

Tinderrrrrrrr!!!!

Rube,
Cries for help come in all forms. I cannot consciously respond to this post as I feel responses only encourage Rube in his darkest hour.
To fill viewers in, this submission is a post by the mayor of Whistler. He has a major addiction to the site known as Tinder. There was a video leaked of him using the site, but he denied it. It was only after the police confirmed the existence of the video that Rube admitted, although not apologetically, to “having a problem” and continued to embarrass himself through the media saying things like “ he has enough BLEEP to eat at home”. We are here for you buddy, whenever you are ready to really get the help you need.

VOTE FOR RUBE!

From: Mark Kelly

Robin I have a serious question about how to score a Canadian snow/hottie/bride, not only are the Canadian girls awfully cute, smart, down to earth, and ripping skiers and riders but there are also all of the benefits of being Canadian. It seems that all of you Canadians are incredibly friendly, polite and powder loving which is awesome, not to mention some pretty damn fine terrain to play on and copious amounts of snow! There is also that three party government, the Canadian health care program and the lack of being viewed with scorn by the rest of the world. I do not come empty handed, I am a successful Alaskan heli ski guide, fairly smart (for a guide on skis) and in exchange for great snow, friendly countrymen, health care etc… I can offer all of the opportunities of American life, the right to be spied upon by my government, to pay way, way to much for lift tickets to crappy resorts and the pleasure of getting road raged and flashed the finger on your way to, well anywhere in the US. Any advice on how to find and cute female Canadian snow person willing to marry (or adopt) a ski guide that lives in a camper on the back of his truck while pursuing bottomless pow around N America? (I also have marginal experience playing Settlers of Catan) Whether you can help or not, I hope to see you in Haines again one of these seasons, Cheers MK

Dearest Hoping and Wishing,
The adoption papers are in the mail. I come up to Haines to pick you up and take you home on the 1st of April, until then, sleep well my child.

From: Chandler Haberlack

My number is 425-760-9103
I would sooooooooooo date you

Dear Chandler,
I love science too and cant wait for your results, I forgot my birthday a long time ago, this is really going to help. I am assuming this is what you mean:

Def: Radiocarbon dating (or simply carbon dating) (verb)is a radiometric dating technique that uses the decay of carbon-14 (14
C) to estimate the age of organic materials, such as wood and leather, up to about 58,000 to 62,000 years Before Present (BP, present defined as AD 1950).[1]

From: yo
Synthetize

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From: BoostedAWD

Have you ever gotten the urge to just yell Rick Ross’s famous “UGH!” when you are at the top of a mountain?

The magic 8 ball says “definitely maybe”, but its less of a Rick Ross “UGH” and more of a Lil’ Jon “Yeeaaha”. This is not a problem, but my advise to you is too expand your rapper noise vernacular to find more celebratory sounds:

http://www.therapboard.com

one of the founders of the internet.
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Comments (12)

  1. How come we don’t know each other?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  2. i dont understand this

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
  3. this needs to go away

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 3
  4. If you could stay in Pemberton at the Wendy Hut with a private chef but you couldn’t bring your sled would you go?
    Bannansplit feels neglected.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  5. When are we gonna see some tits?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1
  6. Love Pooose.
    Aftair Bairth.
    Steel Van Gyna.

    Strangé!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
  7. do u like my fashion

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  8. i’d whiskey flip your whisker biscuits….
    ever been to summit county? ;)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  9. How long do you think this will last?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  10. Hi, I was wondering if you had any advice for someone who has a friend addicted to tinder(Rube). I see it destroying his life, and it is killing me watching him make really bad decisions… Help me, help rube.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  11. oh i see how it is

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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