YoBeat: Making Fun of Snowboarding Since 1997

Garage Sessions Volume One

“Wait. Would it be weird to sit here and listen to a CD together?”

“I don’t mean Geometry. I mean in terms of actual sadness.”
-Olivia is discussing either UPS or the USPS and is unclear which she is referring to until I ask her. I then sort of simply yet brilliantly suggest, “UPS and the USPS should just collab and call it a day.”
-Olivia informs me that my bedroom [...]

“People hate you for real reasons, Brooke.”

“Make sure no one tries to touch Melissa and Sarah! They don’t have feelings!”

“It’s always so much better when your week isn’t you sitting around smoking weed and watching Tyra.”

“See, I am living off the grid!”

“You are really good at kidding!”

“Sorry, I am not usually this nice. I just really like people when I am drunk.”

“Does he like TV?”
-We are stopped at a light on Sunset in front of that giant oil change place called EZ Lube. Olivia points at the building and announces, “That was my nickname in high school.”  I begin to try to empathize with her, when she interrupts me to tell me she was kidding.
-We meet [...]

“I really wish the Peach Pit was real.”

“This is like Follow That Bird!”

“Babies are probably cheaper.”

“If you were a fly people would be trying to kill you all day long.”

“Everyone is so much funnier when they are hung-over.”

Sarah Morrison’s year in review. Possible just an excuse to recycle old content, but what can you do?

“I am not dead. i am just in New York.”

“Mad Men is not on TV because they had the season finale. It’s like asking our readers asking what happened to George W Bush….Oh wait, he’s just not president anymore!”

“I have never seen Sarah Morrison care about anything before.”

“Exactly, no one should move back to Scranton.”

“You just said repertoire of slang.”

“They taste like cocaine.”

“So far the list reads: sew sequined dinosaurs on really nice sweaters, Tyra Banks is made of alien, and VH1 reality show “tandem bike.”

“No, she was licking her penis!”

It’s the first week of October. Sarah still hasn’t gone snowboarding. WTF.

Isolation, NBA related video games, tanning and more all this week!

The Best Week Ever, each week is obviously better than the last.

Yeah, it got posted a little late, what were you doing up so early anyway?

Best week ever is back! Sarah lives in NYC now, but you can never take the LA out of the girl.

Let’s spell everything with only consonants like Mstrkrft. We will help the recession by not having to buy vowels!”

“If I had a dime for every time I left my wallet in Steve Aoki’s car…”

“My hair is all scarved up like Winehouse. I can’t even get a brush through it.”

The best 2008 ever.

The best 2007 ever.

The best 2006 ever.