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The Art of the
Skateshop Stop-By
The skateshop Stop-By is a time honored tradition
among snowboarders and skateboaders.
It is something that drives the industry.
Kids do it, Reps do it. It
gives you a chance to bro down with the local shop monkeys and maybe even
grab a shop sponsorship or job for yourself.
It is simultaneously the coolest and lamest trick you can throw
down in skating and snowboarding. There
is a fine line between that loser that annoys the hell out of everyone,
and the cool kid that breaks the monotony of skateshop monkeydom.
Here are some key things to remember if you want to make your trip
a productive one, and by productive we mean the biggest waste of time
ever.
1. Bring presents:
Do this, and you are always welcome.
If you are a rep the best thing to bring is product. However, food,
candy or beers are great gifts for the not so down shred head.
2. Bring a story: It should start out something like
this…. ”bro brahh…you wouldn’t believe how crazy drunk we got last
night”….it should contain something like this…. ”and then these
two chicks started”…..and it should end something like this…
”never seen anything like it in my life.” A common misconception is
that shop employees want to hear about anything that deals with
skating/riding. In fact
whether male or female we want to hear about some embarrassing and
degrading shit.
3. Bring something dirty: This may start sounding
like you are heading to your wedding, something borrowed, blue, old and
new, and the fact of the matter is you sorta are.
As someone who is throwing down the stop-by you probably have a
relationship with the shop. But back to business, something dirty…be it
a joke, a magazine, or one of those keychains where gelatinous stuff comes
out of the business end of a pig when you squeeze it, bring something
dirty. If you are a hesher simply show up and wear your favorite
jeans.
4. Dress inappropriately, smell appropriately:
With the constant onslaught of pre-deoderant adolescents,
gutterpunks, and balsa wood, shop employees experience a nasal assault all
day long, take it easy and spare us the pain. Wear what you want but spray
a little deodorant before you come in, and make us your last stop before
skating rather than your first stop after.
5. 30-45 minutes optimal 2 hrs max- The thing you
want to realize is we have the same attention span as you do, we want to
change the channel after the show is over so….get the hell out.
6. Do not buy anything: It’s just not a stop-by if
you buy anything that costs over ten dollars.
Hardware, magazines, and even the occasional video are a.o.k.
purchases.
7. Feel free to watch a video…but don’t ask us to
get a specific for you to watch you cheap bastard…and I know you have
done this before.
8. Sell shit to customers for street cred: If you are
looking to be the kid slangin, suggest stuff to customers but don’t act
like you work there. This is so faux pax.
There are many levels to skateshop hierarchy step on someone’s
toes and you ain’t goin’ nowhere son.
9 and 10…a couple more things that are funnier than
mine.
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