Fashion over FunctionDeconstructing the US Snowboard Team's Uniforms
Different things are important at the Olympics than on an average day of snowboarding. After all, the Olympics mark one of the few times when snowboarding is actually a "team" sport. And with the exception of Tommy Chezchin voting for Bush and the snowboarder dude on Next who Nexted a girl cause she was a democrat, it's definitely rare to see a ton of American pride in the scene. But the Olympics change everything; for 10 days every four years, snowboarding is considered a legitimate sport. The strangest offshoot of this legitimacy: UNIFORMS! Although head to toe plaid and various other looks have become unofficial uniforms of snowboarding, we're talking serious, contracted, matching uniforms (that include matching long underwear and accessories) here. Sorry about your clothing sponsor! If you made the team this year, you'll be rocking a really baggy snow baseball uniform designed by Burton.
Since Yobeat is fair and balanced (like Fox News), we're not hating on the uniforms. We just have a few comments on the dos and don'ts of the '06 costumes. DO: Keep it baggy. Just because the GS dudes have to wear it too doesn't mean it should be made of Lycra. DON'T: All white? I mean, not only is it after Labor Day, but they are riding on snow. White on white (on White!!), for a televised event? It's just going to look like a bunch of red and blue pin stripes coming down the pipe. DO: Include patches from companies such as Yahoo!, which are huge supporters of the sport. Oh wait, maybe that's a don't. DON'T: Make it so easy for them to listen to their ipods. There's no i(pod) in team. Is Apple even a sponsor? DO: Include a nod to the throwback craze…so gangsta right now.
DON'T: Model it after baseball. A sport where steroids and chewing tobacco are the norm is not a good model for wholesome snowboard kids. And what's in store for Vancouver? Uniforms with an apple pie theme? DO: Make it limited. Sorry kids, you'll will have to buy this one on eBay. DON'T: Make it look like every bad fashion trend that's already happening. As we recently learned in a Yobeat poll, head to toe anything is just a bad idea. -Brooke Geery
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