Book Reviews
The Snowboarder’s Total Guide to Life by Bill Kerig
I think this book is supposed to be a parody on snowboarding culture, but I’m not sure. It’s really really ridiculous, leading me to believe it is nothing more than a big joke, but then Bill Kerig, writercus r. lameus, kept calling himself a snowboarder. Since he looks like a real asshole in his Ray Bans, I’m assuming he actually thinks this is how snowboarders behave.
Basically this book is a series of contradictions. Cool Guy Kerig uses words like "jibberjive" and "’tude" right after saying how the only word that is actually in a snowboarder’s vocabulary is "whatever". Not necessarily untrue, but still, stick to one insult or another. I’ve also never heard anyone say "baggies", which successfully bothered me. After spending awhile telling how lazy and stupid snowboarders are, he uses multitudes of big words that a snowboarder could possibly understand. In the eyewear chapter writercus r. lameus repeatedly mentions that the point of eyewear is too look cool, then suggests Bugz as a popular choice. That last thing I am confused by is that this book is supposed to be pro- snowboarder, and yet every joke is derogatory (but incidentally funny.)
Here’s where I’m almost believing, by this book’s standards, that the author snowboards. On page 136 appears the sentence, "But because snowboarding’s pioneers were wont to party into the morning hours, they didn’t generally get to the areas early enough to catch the frozen muck." I would pick this sentence apart, but I can’t even figure out what writercus r. lameus is trying to say.
My overall impression is that this book is the most retarded piece of literature ever written. I would give you a recommendation not to buy it, but I figure I don’t need to, because as you are probably a snowboarder, you are probably poor, and don’t have the twelve bucks anyway.
(Sick) a Cultural History of Snowboarding by Susanna Howe
This book is on a completely different end of the scale than the previous. At first, I didn't really feel like reading it because it had small print and big pages, but then I realized that it was mostly pictures and quotes and I was no longer so intimidated. It ended up only taking me about an hour to read, but the pages' size made them difficult to hold on to while reading.
This book is great for the aspiring industry junkie, because Susanna Howe did all the research for you. As a new comer to the scene, simply reading this book can make you seem like an old hand, and you too can talk about the days when you had to take a test to ride at the mountain. The main difference between this book and The Snowboarder's Total Guide to Life, is that this one is based on fact, and makes little to no attempt at being humorous. I must say I learned a lot about back in the day, you know, when I was nine, so now when someone says the name Terry Kidwell I don't scratch my head. Boy, that's embarrassing.
-Brooke Geery
