37 Ways to be Obnoxious at a Grocery Store

37 Ways to be Obnoxious at a Grocery Store

1. Put a bunch of stuff on the counter, then say "I’ll be right back."

How To Scam Free Gas

(dignity not required)

1. Pump Gas.

2. Go into the store with a handful of change (nickles or dimes work best), and tell the cashier exactly how much you have. This amount should be about $1 less than the amount of gas you pumped, even if it;s not really the amount you have.

3. Act really upset by the fact that you don't have enough money to pay for all the gay you just bought.

4. At this point the cashier will probably send you on your merry way and accept whatever change you offer as payment for the gas.

While you may have only scammed $1 worth of free gas, this amount will add up, and you will have that much more to spend on beer.

2. Be very indecisive whether you want a bag or not.

3. Make the cashier wait because "you might have the change", especially if you know you do not.

4. Mill around the register for an hour before checking out.

5. Complain about the prices. Try to talk the cashier down or barter with the contents of your pockets.

6. Complain about the restaurant you went to last night or something else totally unrelated.

7. Read the paper out loud.

8. Buy something, try it, and then say "This isn’t good, can I return it?"

9. Make bad jokes and use as many cliches in your speaking as possible.

10. Ask for very specific obscure cigarettes, and then get really offended when you have to settle for something else.

11. Spend more money than you have.

12. Argue over who’s going to pay.

13. Pay in change, and dump it on the counter, especially if the cashier has their hand out, so they have to pick it all up individually.

14. Make the cashier choose what you buy.

15. Wad bills up individually and hand them to the cashier.

16. Ask for the most obscure thing you can think of, and then reprimand the cashier for not know it’s precise location.

17. Go in with a lengthy list and then ask the cashier the location of every item.

18. Have your entire order rung up, and then say, "I forgot something."

19. Tell the cashier, in English, "I don’t speak English."

20. Tell the cashier your life story.

21. Pay in Canadian money.

22. If something isn’t priced, say "it must be free."

23. Pretend you can’t count out the right amount of change.

24. Write checks for a few cents over, and then get upset when the cashier doesn’t notice.

25. Demand special attention because "you’ve been to this store before."

26. Ask if you can get the same item cheaper at another store.

27. Take at least twenty cents out of the "take a penny, leave a penny jar."

28. Never volunteer to help bag, especially if the cashier is all alone. Then act upset because you are in a big hurry.

29. Remind the cashier how long they’ve been there. i.e. "What do you live here?’

30. Stand, looking extremely annoyed, at a closed register.

31. Go to the store 5 minutes before closing and do the biggest shopping possible.

32. Get very upset about being carded.

33. Buy a bunch of scratch off tickets and then talk about the time you won five bucks while you scratch them off.

34. Ask for a receipt and then leave it on the counter.

35. Begin every sentence with "Last time I was here...".

36. Become so enthralled with something while you are checking out that you forget to pay.

37. Pay, and then walk out with out any thing you bought.