The Snowboarder Film Festival
We could review all the latest snowboard videos here, but I figure, why bother. You'll probably buy these videos regardless of what I say about them here. If you are the odd character who actually cares if a video is good or not, you can catch a sneak peak at your favorite snowboard shop, and don't need me to go into detail about how played out jibbing is or how everyone's parts look exactly the same. Instead, through my wonderful career as video store clerk, I am identifying the best videos to watch if you're a cool-guy snowboarder.
Back to the Future
This is probably one of the best movies of all time. Not only did it gracefully cover the time travel business, but it happens to part of one of the few good trilogies ever made. If you've never seen Back to the Future, you probably live in a hole, but basically, Marty (Michael J. Fox) is friends with a crazy old scientist, Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd). Doc Brown, as he is often referred to, invents a time machine, which just so happens to be a Delorian (bonus points). To escape terrorists, Marty jumps in the Delorian and is transported back to 1955. Here he meets the teenage version of his mom, dad, and Doc Brown (who is exactly the same age), and must be careful to make sure that history is not altered while he is there. He also must try to find a way back to 1985 (although, I'm not quite sure why) which is difficult without the plutonium needed to power the time machine. This is such a good movie, it is entertaining and very funny, but the real reason why I believe it is a "Snowboarder Film" is because how does Marty get around? On a skateboard, of course.
Clerks
This is a slacker film, since that's how snowboarders are stereotyped, it's only appropriate to watch films that portray our so-called "way of life." This is the story of Dante Hicks, an employee of a New Jersey convenience store. Through out the day Dante must deal with numerous obnoxious customers, Jay and Silent Bob, the drug dealers who put up shop in the parking lot, and Randall, the video store employee who spends more time in the Quick Stop complaining about customers then he does actually working. Part of this film's charm is the fact the it is in black and white, but it is also the most accurate portrayal of any job I've ever seen (trust me, I know). This movie is also part of a classic trilogy (Mallrats, Chasing Amy), giving it more points on my list. Besides being absolutely hilarious, the reason this is a cool-guy snowboarder film, is because 1) It takes place in Jersey, home to more snowboarders than anywhere else; 2) It contains drugs, swearing and sex; but perhaps the most important reason 3) They discuss the Holy Trilogy, other classic cool-guy films.
The Holy Trilogy: Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
I'm not going to waste my time explaining Star Wars in terms of plot, actors etc. If you don't already know, you probably have no interest in watching. Instead I will just explain why this is a necessary piece of viewing for any snowboarder. Star Wars, and accordingly, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, are the perennial favorites of more pros than any other films. Just ask Jason Brown, Adam Petraska, or Kyla Duffy, they'll tell you what's up, and if pros are down, it must be cool.
The Shining
Perhaps the only good Stephen King movie, the Shining takes place on Mt. Hood, making it prime summertime snowboard viewing, and is the story of a man who is hired as the winter care taker of a lodge (which just so happens to be the Timberline Lodge), then goes crazy and hacks up his family. This movie is actually pretty scary for a horror movie, and the scenery is absolutely beautiful, but I feel most confident in proclaiming this snowboard viewing material, because it is a staple in the Mt. Hood snowboard camps' video library. I dare you to go to camp there with out watching it at least once.
Evil Dead 1 & 2, Army of Darkness
These films seem to be quite popular with snowboarders. They are great movies, horror films that are cheesy, as all horror films are, yet incredibly entertaining all at the same time. They are the continuing saga of a man who works at a bargain department store, who somehow enters a strange world which is in constant battle, loses and arm, and still gets the girl. The best part of these movies are classic, and easily reusable lines such as "Give me some sugar, baby," and "That's just pillow talk, baby."
Ski School
A group of misfit ski instructors at Whistler, party and reek havoc on the cool guy ski instructors, eventually showing them up and getting the girls. It's too bad that this movie came out before the heyday of snowboarding, because there certainly isn't a snowboard to be found in the entire movie, but it still makes this list, because it is a great reminder of a time when you were probably skiing anyway. Just incase you had forgotten those days when yes, you too, wore neon.
©1998 Yo Beat Magazine