Why We Love Degrassi Junior High
By Rachel Cotton
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Why We Love Degrassi Junior High By Rachel Cotton |
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| I wish I went to Degrassi High. Unlike at my place of study, there are
swarms of cool cats all up in the Cannukian piece. Being all that I care about in life, I
will begin by discussing the sexiness of Degrassi's male population. Joey Jerimiah. I nearly fainted when the desirably dumb Joey, on a dare, walked through the school cafeteria, wearing only a hat. Can I get a sha-wing? Snake. Inching in at a solid 6 foot something, he has truly got it goin' on. The fact that he wears a homemade shirt with a stick figure on it and likes my all time favorite band, Gourmet Scum, just adds to the already substantial supply of drool that he generates. Wheels. Like the DOPE Cannicky of Grease fame, Wheels is of the rebellious persuasion, which makes all girls, especially yours truly, go completely wild over him; He breaks Grandmom's rules by staying out after curfew and keeps his cool during a hitchhike gone bad when his escort tries to get a little too friendly with him, if you know what I mean. Too smooth. Zit Remedy. Joey, Snake, and Wheels are also members of the acclaimed musical act "Zit Remedy," which makes them even bigger babe magnets. Punk Rock Patrick. For a short time, a strapping Irish lad of the punk rock variety, exemplified by the oversized safety pin worn on his sweater, sweated Spike. I was more than a little jealous, as he is actually good looking and rocks the irresistible Irish brogue. Can I get some fries with that shake? Simon. He wears a letterman's jacket and goes out on casting calls. His Hollywoodness attracts me. Too bad he's banging the head cheerleader, Alexa. Arthur, Yick, Scooter, and Bartholemew. Even though Arthur and his better half, Yick, have not gone through puberty yet, they have obvious babe potential, along with the boys who truly make me crazy, Scooter and Bartholemew, the geeks. Okay, enough about the boys. Let's move on to how the girls of Degrassi basically do not enhance student life. |
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PBS, being ingenious, decided to spice things up at Degrassi with a little
flavor of the punk rock variety, featuring loads of punk extras, the aforementioned
Patrick, and two female characters, Spike and Liz. Even though Spike is
impregnated at the tender age of 14 by an ugly boy, who later goes on to destroy most of
his brain cells with a drop of acid, she is still quite the chill character in my book, as
is her friend, Chelsea girl Liz. I find them, of all the female characters on the show, to
be, by far, the most genuinely interesting. Heather and Erica. I have
always been fascinated by twins, and these two captivate me only for that reason. I can
never tell them apart, as they always seem to dress, wave, walk, and talk in variations of
the same, although I suppose that is what makes them twins and cannot be criticized. Once,
one of them had an abortion, although I'm obviously not sure which one, the only
moderately interesting thing ever to happen to them on the show. Racy. Melanie,
Kathleen, Caitlin, and Lucy can be found at every high school across the globe.
Take typical girls, make them pronounce their A's strangely, have them all take trips to
the washroom, rather than the bathroom, and there they are. Although they are boring,
boring, bored, I suppose they bring a little Saved By the Bell-ness to Degrassi, which
isn't too bad. |
Transfer my credits and sign me up, for there is not a more happenin' place than that which they call Degrassi. |
