Keeping it Real, or
something
|
Al Engelhart |
What you are about to read is a totally biased article written on the topic of who I think deserves recognition for keeping snowboarding real and making me want to drive forty minutes from my warm bed in Boston to the nearest mountain just so I can get my stick wet. |
Dudes killing it on the frontline:
Travis Parker: Putting aside Parker’s arsenal of buttery flapjack tail and melon grab maneuvers, it should not be ignored that this dude uses the word kibsteak, a stupid sounding word that holds absolutely no meaning. Basically what I’m trying to say here is that this guy kicks ass.
Here's a classic photo of Peter Line. He knew open jackets were cool before they were. WOW! |
Scotty Whitlake: As much as I hate this kid as a person I think anyone with at least half a brain should admire Whitlake as a snowboarder. Whether he is shaping snowboard trends with his whole punk getup (Scotty’s life is strikingly similar to that of Sid Vicious’s before his death) or breaking his face against his kneecap in an honest effort to progress snowboarding, Ten Men is on the ball and will continue to be for quite a while.
Jason Brown: As weird as Mr. Brown may be at times I’m going to have to say that this guy has kept it real since day one. From a photo of him in a ’93 issue of TWS where he is board sliding a garnly wooden handrail sloped at like 70 degrees (with orange hair nonetheless) to busting lukewarm tight air to fakies a million feet out of the halfpipe during this year’s Team Challenge competition in Mammoth this dude gets ill like China exports rice.
Gigi Ruf: If this kid were as good at basketball as he is snowboarding he’d be more nuts than Jordan in ‘89. Basically, Gigi rides pipe better than most Olympians and stomps switch backside 5s off backcountry jumps like your mom takes dumps.
Peter Line: I don’t even think I need to elaborate on this dude. If you don’t already have a shrine for this guy in your house then you should probably consider trading in your snowboard for a pair of purple rollerblades.
Dudes and one girl making it happen behind the scenes:
Joel Muzzey: If you can add and subtract numbers, hold respect for those who work or once worked at Eastern Boarder, and appreciate quality snowboard journalism , you probably understand that Joel Muzzey is no ordinary man.
Evan Rose: Like most of the people on this list, Evan is superhuman. If you have ever had the amazing experience of browsing NegativeB, Evan’s surplus-ridiculous Web site, you’d know what the hell I’m talking about. Now working as the central processing unit for Jeenyus this dude will most likely contribute to the diminishing market share of a very large snowboard company situated in Northern Vermont.
Tonino Copene: As much as this guy is probably the biggest fucking asshole in the in America this crazy son of a bitch has kept snowboarding cool for over ten years. Now as team manager of Nitro, and adding marketable rippers like Andrew Forgash and Lane Knaack to his roster, he will be able to keep snowboarding cool for ten more years.
I don't have pictures of any of the people listed, so here's Corey Smith, who Coyle taught everything he knows. |
Chris Coyle: Like so many original things this drunken asshole comes up with I swear to God that Coyle was the first one in snowboarding to don the trucker hat, aviator shades, and denim jackets. Basically, if you want to be one the forefront of snowboard fashion then check out what Coyle is sporting ‘cause the guy is like two years ahead of Four Square. The name Chris Coyle can be found either on the pages on Transworld or on its Web site. The man himself can be found in your local bar.
Pat “The eYe” Bridges: There aren’t many magazine editors in this country that can say they’ve been in a Kaluwa ad.
Mike Arzt: As the team manager of Airwalk’s snow division this psycho is completely turning around a brand you could once buy at Marshall’s. Plus, how many team managers let their riders shoot guns?
Brooke Geery: How many cute girls do you know that can balance school, snowboarding, freelance gigs for Snowboarder and Transworld, and then find time to maintain one of the few good snowboard Web sites on the planet?
Well that’s it. If you don’t like what I have to say stab a horse.
-- Albert Engelhart
Keeping it real, of something: Leading coolness authority Al Engelhart reports on the current sate of snowboarding.
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